after every heavy pour sunshine will appear

Losing Reins

2010-10-17T13:16:00.000-07:00

From today onwards, I am letting loose on the reins...I am just gonna let my life to be set on "auto pilot" mode and allow God to bring me wherever He wants me to go...The whole of last week seriously opened my eyes to something that I never thought I would see...

WHOLE time after A-levels, I decided that I would turn my back on BIOLOGY forever, and never did I know that I will meet this subject ever again in my life...I had a full week of BIOLOGY, including the chapter that I hate the most - DNA....The first day in class, I was like "What in the world is going on?"...Really, I can't seem to find a logic behind this....Why am I back to square one again? And in the midst of the half and hour break we were having, while I was trying to get some sleep before class resume, it suddenly struck me that God is trying to do something in my life but I missed it...Somehow the choice that I made those years ago is not correct, it's not the path that God wants to lead me to...

It's funny how sometimes we struggle to get something done, something just have to happen in our own way that we were going round and round but just can't find a way out...We failed to listen what God actually want us to pay attention to, and we just missed something important that God actually wants us to focus on....We eventually used up all our strength and energy for that something to happen but in the end, we get nothing....We tend to forget that there is always a Higher Power, there is something that actually controls the Universe and it is this Higher Power that provides the eternal living water....

So, I gave up trying to take control of my life now...Whatever that is put in front of me now, I will just face it and ride the strom if needed...

- No more complains, no more grudges, no more bitterness, no more anger, but with much perseverance and patience, and above all , LOVE -

summer holidays..

2010-09-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

Title above suggest that it's now summer holidays and I have been back in this beloved country of mine for almost 3 months now...And soon, I will need to pack my luggages and once again board the flight bound for UK...9 months spent in UK, looks like I am more prepared to go back there now...and that comes with a purpose....I seriously and desperately need a miracle to allow me to at least obtain a second upper, if not, I may as well just jump off the building....

But, somehow life don't work that way...If I can just get anything I want, life comes too simple that way and eventually we won't learn a single thing by the time we close our eyes and sleep forever...Life is made up of a series of events and even the most insignificant event can be so meaningful later on...And during the day we meet our Father again, we will have many stories to tell Him, what did we achieved, experienced and gained during our time on Earth instead of "Nothing".....So, we need a balance between sweet and horrendous experience, happy and sad stories because life is just like that, it has the ups and downs and we can never always be at the top (because that will defy Newton's Law of Gravitation)...When we were born, we all have a piece of white cloth and we have the choice as to how we paint the cloth....We can be an excellent painter, or we can be the opposite because the brush is in our hands...Even so, we all have a Teacher, and it's God because He will teach us how to hold the brush and how to paint the greatest piece of our lifetime...If we just follow on, ride up every tide that comes in, even if we bled and get scratches everywhere, or break most of our bones along the way, at the end of the day, it's the journey that matters...

Friend, I know how you feel the day you went on the bus...Seeing you in that state seriously make me feel terrible, or rather more than terrible because I don't know how and what I can do to help you to ease the burden, to make u feel better, to know that you will be ok until we meet again...I just want to let you know, we are all interconnected by an invinsible string, and when one of the particle in this string vibrate, it moves every single particle that is connected...though the movement might be small and insignificant, it still at least moved....If you think you are all alone in this, I am telling you that you are wrong....I always have your back and when you are tired, my shoulder is always there for you to lean on....I know this is going to be one terrible test that you have to go through, with the mixture of emotion conflicting in urself, it's not going to bring you anywhere nearer to the shore...Riding this storm is going to be hard, but I hope you see a bigger picture behind all this that happen...And I sincerely hope you can find a way out through this maze and appear as a champion...If you fall, fall with dignity; and always remember that failure is the key to success because falling sharpens ur courage each time and makes you a stronger person...If you are tired, take a rest, but don't give up!! When you really have no where to go, think back where you've come from, where we spent every april school holidays, what did we do up there and seek ernestly...If you will just knock, and you will get the answers....

~ I have you back, always ~

2010-05-25T09:28:00.000-07:00

我怕来不及
我要抱着你
直到感觉你的皱纹
有了岁有的痕迹
直到肯定你是真的
直到失去力气
为了你我愿意

动也不能动
也要看者你
直到感觉你的发线
有了白雪的痕迹
直到视线变得模糊
直到不能呼吸
让我们形影不离

如果
全世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你
值得我去珍惜
而你在这里
就是生命的奇迹

也许
全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意
失去你的消息
你掌心的痣
我总记得在哪里

我们好不容易
我们身不由己
我怕时间太快
不够将你看仔细

我怕时间太慢
日夜担心失去
你恨不得一夜之间白头
永不分离

如果
全世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你
值得我去珍惜
而你在这里
就是生命的奇迹

也许
全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意
失去你的消息
你掌心的痣
我总记得在哪里

在那里~

Paris - City of Love

2010-04-11T14:39:00.000-07:00

On the 4th of April, when people go to church for Easter Sunday service, me and Brenda each carrying a backbag and pulling a luggage bag, leaving on a "train" to Paris.....

All I can say is, when I was standing in front of Eiffle Tower, all I can feel is love....I never know why people like to propose below or on the Eiffle Tower but now I understood, because the moment I saw the structure, I was standing in awe, totally filled with so much love....And the churches, Sacre Coeur and Notre Dame, I am totally in love with them....

Disneyland was another place that was in our itinerary....When I step out of the train station heading towards the entrance of Disneyland, I dunno how to described how I feel....22 years old, first time going to Disneyland....happy, touched....Seriously so emotional...haha!! And when I saw those cartoon that was with me as I grew up, comparing to those kids standing all around me, I was laughing so hard and they were staring in awe.....Gosh!! Generation difference....but still, I felt like I was once again 4 years, willingly allowing myself to be persuaded by those cartoon characters...

A few days before I was due to leave to Paris, my parents told me that my only cousin brother finally took the plunge and decided to commit into marriage....I was so happy!!! As well as my friend, prior to my trip, realise that ur status changed from single to in-a-relationship...If I know with me going to Paris can make all these happen, I would have gone earlier....

Though Paris is a City of Love, it is also a city that can burn a huge hole in your pocket....ppl go there to "sapu" LV, Longchamp, Chanel, Prada, Gucci and etc....Gosh!!! Like don't need money...just grab and go...especially that Galaries Lafeyette..the ratio of chinese and european is so obvious....My eyes are suddenly open to all the branded stuff that I never knew exists: Furla, Lancel, Goyard (prounce as koyak), Longchamp....bla bla bla....cannot remember so many...

French, is a language that I am really determined to learn...

I Will Be Still....

2010-03-27T12:42:00.000-07:00

It's been a long, long time...I think there are molds on my blog already...haha!! Can't help it seriously, was so busy with that annoying, pathetic DESIGN PROJECT...this design project runs for the whole 3rd year, from semester 1 to semester 2 and year 3 life just revolve around it.... that's why I am utterly suprise that I am still alive....But, that design project taught me a lot of things...partly, knowledge in chemical engineering, and above all, it's another lesson from God....

Since the second semester started, for all the time that I have, it's all dedicated to design project...eat, sleep, shit, shower, that design project just stay with me all the time....because of it, I had weird sleeping time....I dun get to take afternoon nap anymore, because I will lay awake on the bed, starring at the ceiling, trying to force myself to sleep.....95% of the time, it won't work....in the end, I will just get up and continue to work even though I was already super exhausted....at night, I will sleep at 5 am and then wake up at 9 am just to continue to work....You guys must be wondering whether do I go to class....Because of this design project, I have little class...monday I have 9 am till 4 pm...Wednesday 9 am to 11 am and friday 11 am till 4 pm...that's all for class...the rest of time, it's for us to work on the project....

Towards the end, we all get so bored with it...seriously, it takes all the life from us...we have nothing else to think and do besides design project....Untill when the project finally, officially ended, we have no idea what to do with our time....suddenly felt the freedom, but dunno what to do with it....fresh air again.....probably my other classmates spend it by sleeping all they can...cuz we were all so deprived of sleep....The last week was the worst: monday hand in 30 pages with additional 25 pages of appendices, tuesday break, wednesday hand in poster, thrusday presentation, friday final group report....I seriously dunno how did we manage...for that last week, we practically camped in school....each group sort of have their own "camping" ground, and u will know exactly where to find them for the whole week....same spot...my group, let's see....go to school at 9.30 am, and go home at 12 am....wonderful?

2 weeks before the submission date, I was panicking already...Haven't even started a single page of the individual report...not to say I haven't done any research, but I dunno how to start the report...haha!! then, I bought tickets for All England....and it's weekend ticket, which means I get to watch the quarters, semis and finals....that was good 3 whole days gone not doing anything....but the good thing is, I get to experience the atmosphere of watching the game live...on the semi-finals day, my seat was directly at the corner where the players head to after their game, and where they have the press conference....haha!! I got signature of Peter Gade, the korean coach, Denmark's men double team, Lu Lan and Chen Jin....I wasn't that all desperate k, those ppl were like crashing to my seat just to get the players signature....And my seat was so near and yet dun plan to get signatures, a bit weird right...so, I also pakai layan only...haha!! In the end, the ticket where all the signatures were on, I just chuck it on my table....LEE CHONG WEI won!!! the 100th All England!!!

How can I enjoy so much when I perfectly know I have dateline one week later? Good question...One and a half week before submission date, I came across this passage...it was about God multiplying time...How God miraculously multiply food enough for 5000...that's when I realise that no matter what ordeal God put you into, He will provide the chance, and exact time for us to rest...somehow, peace just came upon me and suddenly, I felt strength within me...Come what may, I will have ample of time to finish it...during the last week, I was constantly working...not feeling any fatigue though stay up late night and wake up early the next morning...and then, the afternoon before submission day, our lecturer posted up message and told us that the submission date was postponed....how great it that? after reading the message, I straight away shut down my laptop and go to bed....but in the end, I din get to sleep as well...cuz body clock already altered....by saturday, I finished the report and was waiting to hand in on monday....This, is how great God's grace, and how mighty He is...And, the greatest planner above all....

There's another thing that I learnt...there is this girl in my group...I really salute her....she is the not-officially-elected leader in our group..there is no leader in my group, but somehow everyone listened to this girls' advise...or work around it...we somehow can work in compromise...for the whole year, she was constantly pushing everyone in all direction...till the very last week, I was standing at the very edge already....another push, I was so gonna fall into the cliff...little did I know, because of this, my so call "edge" had been extending unknowingly...Unconciously, I was exploring, searching deeper within me that I din know ever exist...during the design project, I used to complain about her so much, angry, pissed off...nevertheless, I never threw any argument with her before....practising my patience...but now when I think back, if not because of her, my group will not get such high marks for our reports and presentations...so, it's really "you will not see why this happen, but when u look back, u will see the abstract behind it" kind of thing....never try, never know...

It's really true that God didn't put cracks all over our life to let us sulked on, to complain about, but to allow light, even the thinnest to shine through and light up the areas that we once thought dark....of all we know, even with this thin light, that we though it's nothing, not significant, will lead us out of darkness, guiding us home...If we manage to live by each day in faith, no matter how terrible the day has been, no matter how pathetic and how miserable the situation is, it will pass and fade away....what's left is the experience, lesson and wisdom we gain from the torment, which we can never get it out from books...and those knowledge, is our eternal treasure...Thus, let's learn to see things from God's eyes, laugh with every sadness, pain and sorrow....embrace them with arms open and view them from a different perspective, our reward will come, eventually....

love...

2010-02-03T19:06:00.001-08:00

What am I doing at 3.30am in the morning? Finally, manage to crap all the way just to finish my process description....I am very sure it's all something that I come up with...facts don't have, but nonsense plently....haih....C H E M I C A L E N G I N E E R I N G!!! annoying....

Just came across a scene in drama, and it makes me wondering........

如果爱一个人, 会竭尽所能, 就为了要得到芳心.....但人到手了, 却不知道珍惜.....直到错过了, 才知道后悔, 来得及吗？

如果爱一个人, 却知道永远只能得到人, 得不到心.....与其硬要在一起, 何尝不去从另一个角度看：只要能够看到心爱的人开心, 能够待在他身旁....其他的, 都无所谓....因为硬拉在一起, 也见不得会幸福.....

Disappointment, is it really that bad? how many of us can stand in the darkest time of our life and yet manage to put a smile on our face and laugh off the pain that we are suffering from? Of all we know, the darkest time at that moment is not the real darkest...a hundred times darker period might happen in future....but, if we can stand in the darkest night, stare up at the sky, u will realise that only then u can see the star shining brighter, moon suddenly become prettier and u never appreciate them before.....and they, will lead u home....God didn't put cracks all over our life to be sulked on, but to allow light, even the thinnest, to pass through and lighten up places that u once though dark....

我答應你

2010-01-21T15:49:00.000-08:00

你的臉龐是一首歌
在晚風中輕輕的唱
清澈明亮不會忘

你的擁抱是一首歌
在我懷裏輕輕的唱
脆弱堅強我都不放

一天中最美的時光
爲什麽非得是夕陽
和從前每一天一样
我就站在這裡眺望

我要明天
你還在我身旁
我答應你
會牢記這片燦爛的遠方
我要明天
你還在我肩上
我答應你
會忘記有種感覺叫悲傷

The Ocean

2010-01-21T15:45:00.000-08:00

从那遥远海边慢慢消失的你
本来模糊的脸竟然渐渐清晰
想要说些什麽又不知从何说起
只有把它放在心底

茫然走在海边看那潮来潮去
徒劳无功想把每朵浪花记清
想要说声爱你却被吹散在风里
猛然回头你在那里

如果大海能够唤回曾经的爱
就让我用一生等待
如果深情往事你已不再留恋
就让它随风飘远

如果大海能够带走我的哀愁
就像带走每条河流
所有受过的伤所有流过的泪
我的爱请全部带走

Bagpiper...

2010-01-12T15:49:00.000-08:00

This song, make me smile at myself...it gave me the inspiration to go on, continue to smile even though things seem to be pathetic, horrible and terrible....all because of the story behind it....

光影交错在鹅卵石斜坡
跟白砖瓦的街廓
小孩晃着纸风车笑成一脸麦田里
烫金黄色

挥挥手崎岖的山丘已在我身后
而我继续走在这寂静如画的北国
挥挥手你是不是我我的风笛手
请你对着我说
这首旋律只属于我

绵羊游走在苏格兰阡陌
云正偷偷刺着绣
陪我寂寞的湖泊也被小船划出了
浅浅酒窝

在这英国的北夜
另一个纬度的世界
我不够熟悉的一切感觉却足以让人落泪
我在风笛声里入睡
而弹的会是谁

尝一口牧人的自由冰川的辽阔
寻找在远方为我而弹奏的风笛手
尝一口牧人的自由蓝天的温柔
沿着翠绿溪流寻找那我的风笛手

New decade...

2010-01-05T04:14:00.000-08:00

So, it's 2010 and Happy New Year everyone!! Another decade passed, how many more decades can we have? Does this reminds you to cherish your life and enjoy every single bit of it?

10 years ago, I am just still a young and dumb little girl studying standard 6 and I never realise how many things can change in a decade....I graduated from SJK(C) Yuk Chai, further graduate from SMK Taman Sea, continue to further graduate from HELP college, and now, I am looking forward to graduate from University of Birmingham....that's how far I have come from....If I say I didn't change during these 10 years, it's all bullshit...From a shy, close minded person, I have learnt to express myself, to be more outgoing, to view life in a different perspective but of course, I am still young and dumb...Haven't manage to change that just yet and don't plan to do so in future....

It's like a character building throughout these years...Been a follower, a leader, a staff, a witness of miracles, faith and see how a person can change with time...There were so many times I was being discouraged, judged, thrown down to the lowest point of life, felt that there was no more hope, dumped, lost and always find myself standing at the crossroad all the time, yet when I look back and start to connect all those events, I realise how have I changed and how those events shaped me into who I am today....Throughout the years, I have been constantly tested...Exams, being loved and harshly being dumped, learn to trust, to let go, to believe, to accept, to surrender, endurance, perseverance, guess I am becoming a better person with each passing event...One thing for sure, to endure the cold weather and snow in UK compare to the hot and sunny days back home...

This decade, I can't say I remember every single event that happen...All I can remember is the 9 11 incident, the Sichuan Earth quake, Tsumani, current recession...What else? I can't remember anymore...No matter wat incident are those, I can see a world more unite than before...Whenever one country is in trouble, neighbouring country will try to support, giving aid...Even the people of the country, they will rush to help out, donation and all....However, war is still going on...When only peace will come to us? Probably another decade or so?

10 years, it's not short, and it's not long..But it all comes down to how many more 10 years can passed before we can say we finish the race...How many more 10 years to achieve things that we longed for....It's funny when u stand 10 years later and start to think back how far u have come and it's not every decade u have the chance to do that....One good example is during school days, I totally sux at math, especially during form 2, I practically failed my math paper...I started to buckle up, and things were going great till now, I am studying engineering...Awesome? Come to think of it, if I didn't fail during form 2, probably I won't start to like math, and will continue to sux in engineering...Now I can stand and see it in a good perspective, but at that time, I was totally devastated and down....This is how great God's plan can be....

Therefore, let's look forward for another new decade....Let's forgive and forget, let all bygones be bygones....All things happen for a reason, and even u don't see and understand the reason behind it, u will in future....For the time being, just walk on with faith...Though u dont see the light, God will shine the way for u....Just trust and go on...I always like to say in my own words: " Got road, walk; No road, jump.."

*cheerz*

Time flies...

2009-12-23T16:00:00.001-08:00

Yeah, time flies...but can it go faster? I can't wait for winter to end...and better be fast...cuz i am dying of coldness soon....well, 3 months passed since I left home...2 more days, it will be Christmas, 8 more days to a whole new year....how sad is that? Have to celebrate it in this FREEZING cold, foreign country....can't imagine I am actually celebrating it alone here, without the fireworks from pyramid and 1U....so gonna miss it!!! Been counting down to new year at 1U dunno since when, and it's like a to-do-thing ever since....there's one year, I bumped into you while u were going home...sadly, didn't manage to say hi and all I can see it's the back of u....and last year, was trying so hard to keep my promise by calling you guys even though the line is so badly jammed up...in the end, I only manage to get through at 12.30am instead...haha!! this time, it's will only be me, my doggie, sea lion and my bed and pillow counting down to the new year....great....how nice is that?

OK, stopping the emotional part...went up to Leeds and visited Su Wei last week....then together we went to Llandudno, Wales....the trip was ok...and now that I realise that Birmingham is actually colder than the two places....we manage to see beautiful scenery, heavy snow, fat pigeons, super aggressive seagull, almost blown off by the super strong wind at some hill overlooking the sea and experiencing "black ice"...."black ice" is like going to skating rink, but dun need to pay and without the skating shoes....in the end, all we get is a wet and pain butt....overall, it's a great time off....

While we were at Leeds, we went to York, which is some place outside Leeds...it's a day trip and the scenery there was awesome...the snow and all....we had snowball fight, sat on snow and made an angel....the best part in York is, the PUB....we went to a local pub for LUNCH...so, su wei and brenda went to get their food while I sit and take care of the bags....after they return, I went on to order my food...at the bar, the guy asked for my ID....and so, I gave him my student ID...but to my dismay, he said not acceptable...then, I gave him my INTERNATIONAL student ID, and he didn't accept it as well....he wanted my driving license or passport, which I dun have because I dun have a UK driving license, nor I bring my passport everywhere I go....in the end, he didn't want to sell me lunch.....I went back to the table, told su wei and brenda that either they had to go get lunch for me, or I will be out searching food on myself....they just stare at me, and LAUGH....man, do I really look that young and dumb ar? swt~

So now, after all the holiday, I am once again back to Birmingham...back home, after a trip, I will just throw my laundry into the basket and kakak will wash for me...this time round, after a trip, I have to wash my own laundry, wipe my own shoes, bags, wash the bedsheets, bla bla bla....I really never knew that I can survived thus far...how amazing....

Stop procrastinating....4 more assignments to go.......

Rain

2009-12-05T13:17:00.000-08:00

I don't know where I crossed the line
Was it something that I said
Or didn't say this time
And I don't know if it's me or you
But I can see the skies are changing
In all the shades of blue
And I don't know which way it's gonna go

If it's gonna be a rainy day
There's nothing we can do to make it change
We can pray for sunny weather
But that won't stop the rain
Feeling like you got no place to run
I can be your shelter 'til it's done
We can make this last forever

So please don't stop the rain
(Let it fall, let it fall, let it fall)
Please don't stop the rain
(Let it fall, let it fall, let it fall)
Please don't stop the rain

I thought that time was on our side
I've put in far too many years
To let this pass us by
You see live is a crazy thing
There'll be good time and there'll be bad times
And everything in between
And I don't know which way it's gonna go

Oh we'rea little closer now
And finally what life's it's all about
Yeah I know you just can't stand it
If things don't go your way
But we've got no control over what happens anyway

Can't Wait Any Longer...

2009-11-16T12:12:00.000-08:00

OMGosh!! I know time flies, but can it go faster? I can't wait for term break....can't hold on any longer!!! Assignments, report, projects, and that never ending PPF lecture (forever lost).....I am drowning soon....

Let's see....this month is a really busy month....even shit also no time...whole day research, cost, which we can never get a comfirm figure....my eye balls almost came out reading all the materials...and the worst is we have two assignments due on the same day...how great is that? The weather is no where near helping, the wind is as strong as usual and sometimes, i feel like i am almost taking off to Scotland on a free ride....Back to assignments, I am suppose to have 4 assignments in this semester for this particular subject but so far, i only had one....trying not to think how to cramp all 3 in 3 weeks....with additional of that HAZARD report for design project....I am gonna be dead soon....Can anyone remind me why am i taking CHEMICAL ENGINEERING?!!!

Apart from drowning in assignments, life in UK is getting better...although can't really see my purpose being here (besides graduating), i am just walking by faith...I don't know where God is going to lead me to, but i am sure there will be a destination because He is the greatest planner....

- Life is an ever changing environment, and there's no way of turning back but to change yourself to suit the environment because only changes are constant in life -

First month

2009-10-20T13:36:00.000-07:00

WOW!! I survived the first month without a serious wound in UK!!! faster congrats me!! and guess how we celebrated it....we had TOMYAM!!! obviously we bought the paste larr...duh...like i know how to make the paste....and the paste cost less than one pound...haha!! not too bad....

Many more months to come...hopefully it will pass without any serious problem, sickness, wounds....PRAY FOR ME!! owh~ I realise cold water can really burn cuz I really did get burn...when I learn that in first aid, I thought it was juz crap.....

Continue to leave footprints in UK

2009-10-20T12:34:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I left my footprints in Bicester last Sunday....well, Bicester is half and hour bus ride from Oxford and there's this village that house the most luxarious brands that I can ever imagine...there are some that I dun even know they exists....

So, last Sunday we took a train to Bicester North that cost 10.55 pounds and it was an hour train ride...reaching the train station, we walked about 15 minutes just to get to the village...finally, after a shivering walk...we arrived at Bicester Village, the outlet shopping....the village house the most luxarious brands that I can ever imagine, Dior, Gucci, Ralph Lauren, DKNY, D&G, CK, Burberry, Cerruti, Celine, Guess, Tod's, Hugo Boss, Tommy Hilfiger, Paul Smith and etc...I can't remember all the shops that I went in...and there are some that I dun even know they exists like Ted Baker and they cost a BOM just for one piece of polo tee...haha!! so dumb....I dun even go into any of the shops mention above back in Malaysia such as Ralph Lauren, which is at the Ground floor of 1U...everytime I passed by the shop, I would just either stare at the expensive polo tee, or just assume that the lot is empty....but on Sunday, I went into all the luxarious shops in just ONE day!!!

There were a lot of Chinese, Indonesian and a few Malaysian, which I think they are Datuks or sth shopping around there....of course, there are the locals....and surprisingly, there were a lot of students as well...imagine all the china students are so rich...Some of the stuff there are really cheap, like a Ralph Lauren polo tee, for that colour and that size, it only cost 15 pounds....or other colour, it cost about 30 to 40 pounds....well, being a person who dun go into this kind of shops, I was told that it was cheap because in Malaysia, it will cost almost RM 400 just for the same polo tee...or a Tommy Hilfiger jeans for 30 pounds and polo tee for 20 pounds, Hugo Boss polo tee for 20 pounds, Burberry t-shirt for 20 pounds and etc...does it sound cheap? tell me about it....

If u were wondering wheather I bought sth out of that so HIGH-CLASS place...yeah, I bought one Musto long sleeve shirt, that cost 30 pounds...In my WHOLE life, I never bought a shirt that expensive...yeah, tell me bout it...the most expensive that I ever had was Renoma, and that cost like RM55....that's max...now, it seems like Renoma is just some ordinary brand, like Forest...haha!! that's why even Hugo Boss polo tee was just 20 pounds, I also reluctant to buy....the long sleeve shirt was just because it was bit thicker than normal shirt and it will be my uniform for winter....owh, their food there also very the high-class...they have this sausage roll of only 15cm, and it cost like 2.45 pounds!! but it was AWESOME!! it's just too GOOD to resist...haha!!

If I am as rich as Brenda, I would probably buy like her...haha!! sorry mate.....cheerz!! but going there was an experience, never in my life that place like this actually exists...and the trip actually opens my eye to luxarious brands, and also brands that I never knew they were in market....really did had a great day!! Sam announcing: I AM OFFICIALLY BROKE!! and now I think I need to eat grass for the coming month.....haha!!!

Awakening...

2009-10-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

3 weeks into UK, I have already passed up 2 assignments....great right? and another one is coming up...Gosh!! can anyone tell me wheather the situation is going to be worst or? Today I finish class at 10 am...and guess wat...we have no tv here....and going down town once is like 1.15 pounds deducted from our pocket....so in the end, we juz decided to stay back....after class, went to pass up my assignment, and then we went to saintsburry....well, it's basically a supermarket...imagine, when we are free and nth to do...all we go is some supermarket to buy nth but grocerries...how sad is that? while walking there today....me and brenda were talking bout wat we were doing if we finish class early in Malaysia....and i was like, hmm...if today finish at 10am, i will be heading down to klang for a nice seafood porridge, and then go home...watch a nice movie from astro....and then go 1U or bawang merah for tea.....wah!! so nice right? but sadly, we are currently in UK...gosh!! it's so pathetic.....i actually finished two books within these 3 weeks....it's the lost symbol and the time traveller's wife.....that's how bored i am....well, i am not complaining....after this when all the assignments started to come flooding in, i know there's no turning back till the next summer.....so, crossing fingers....

i was talking to my housemate juz now...and she's currently taking language as her degree....spanish and chinese...well, i realise there are quite a lot of ppl here taking languages, english literature, and all those weird subject that no one will take from malaysia...subjects that are "cold" in malaysia....probably i grow up in a family that thought there were no other professionals besides engineers, doctors, pharmasist, lawyer and wat not....there's not a chance i will considered philosophy or socialogy as a degree previously....but somehow now, my eyes are opened to accept that there are actually such courses around....and start to have some interest in it....haha!! imagine sam studying philosophy? unbelievable.....

well, it's been 3 weeks since the day i board the plane and came to this far far away land....i was so lost at first, missng home with every single breathe that i take....right Louis? haha!!! the first few days, whenever i saw my mum's mail or talking to her on msn or whoever that talk to me from back home....sure become very emotional...owh man~ really wanted to go home so much!!! but then, there's this day...someone told me this: saying hello and goodbye is a norm of life....we do say hello and goodbye all the time...wat's important is not bout meeting new ppl and then say goodbye to them and totally put them at the back of our head, but it's the experience and wat we been through together forms the essence between these two phase....

when i heard this, i cried...that's exactly the thing that i needed the most in this unfamiliar land at the lowest point of my life....and that's the last time i cried missing home i think....before this sentence, i always think that: ok....this is it....i am gonna go through this 42 weeks...pack my bag and go home...that's it....i dun care who am i going to meet, i dun bother watever that's gonna happen here because i juz wan to go home....i dun mind if i dun meet any new friends, i am juz going to live in my little protective shell for the next 42 weeks....cuz if i make friends now, when the time comes for me to go back, i have to say goodbye all over again...and tears will come all over again....so to avoid this, i will juz trampled on each day like a zombi.....

haha!! but this doesn't work in the end...cuz i have better plans now....somehow, this hits me: God send me all the way here...made everything possible for me where i have parents that can afford to send me here for studies, passed all my exams when i thought i was going to fail and manage to get a place to study here....i can't waste every single chance that He gave me by juz skipping through my days here...there's sure sth for me to achieve by the time it's for me to go home....be it making new, stronger friendship, touching someone's life, travel the whole Europe...it doesn't matter, as long as i am not wasting any minute of it...I never realise this soft part of me exist..seriously...haha!! i thought i was strong but never knew i was so weak inside....

I am a much better person now...ready to face the next 39 weeks as a fresh new person, with much hope and excitement.....i hope those who are in the same shoes as me, no matter which part of earth are u in, stay strong.....light will come after darkness, there's no way we can be on the wrong side of the road forever.....

Mid-Autumn Festival

2009-10-03T14:13:00.000-07:00

Well, this is my first time not celebrating mid-autumn festival back at home...Somehow, to me, this festival has never had a great importance to me till today....mid-autumn festival is about sititng down with family members and friends starring at the moon, having a cup of nice chinese tea with the companion of mooncake and latern....now, at this moment, i only have a nice cup of chinese tea....mooncake here is 3.2 pounds one when i can get for RM 3.20 back at home...and i dun see anywhere selling lanterns....but, the good thing is we have the moon...so, i spent my mid-autumn festival with the vacuum cleaner and antibacterial vipes.....that's all i can do to fill my "festival"....

Today's weather is colder than usual and this is an indication that winter is drawing near....it's the first time i saw rain in birmingham...and it's quite heavy...I went to Ikea again with Brenda today (but we forgot her hangers)...it was so windy and the wind comes from all direction u can imagine...one second it's blowing from front...the other second it's coming from the back....next moment it comes from 45 degrees....it's totally crazy...especially when the wind comes from the front, it reminds me of the movie Happy Feet when the Papa penguin was looking after the egg....when the wind blow and how their heads was way in front than the rest of the body...yeah, that was exactly our posture....haha!! really like penguin.....

After coming to UK, i realise this....no matter how strong u r....how independent u r...when u reach a whole new environment and place, u will long for home..that's exactly how i feel....i thought i was strong...but then i never knew i was week deep inside (someone share the same experience as me...my best friend)....since i came here, i was so full of emotions and the feeling of going home is so strong.....however, i am coming out with it quite well....not as bad as the first day when i arrived (overeall it wasn't that bad larr)....seriously, there's no where else better than home....although u get good money working abroad, u juz don't belong to that place...it's like we are out of place...sth's juz not right....somehow, come and go is a norm of life....we can never stay at the same spot all the time....we have to accept it...but no matter where we go, when we are tired of everything, there's still a place call home....

To those ppl who asked me wheather i will miss home after i come to the UK....i can answer u now...it's YES!! and i miss home so much...still got 40 more weeks...i know i can do it....Oh God, guide me through this....give me strength to go on even though it seems unclear how i am going to go through this....but i know You will always be there for me and lead me through the darkness...i know there's a reason You brought me here, therefore let me finish my mission here and bring me home...."Habislah gelap, terbitlah terang"....i know this is true.......

Life in UK...

2009-09-24T10:48:00.000-07:00

Well, this is my first post since I arrived in this nice but very the unfamiliar country...let's start from the minute I step into the plane...was trying to sleep once I step into the plane so that I won't have jet lag problem....but there were babies in the plane and it was quite hard to sleep...plus, I think the service is too good...they keep serving us food....there's once the air steward woke me up for food and I was so blur that I thought that guy was Dr .M....haha!! terkejut me....then arrived at Dubai for transit....it was quite early in the morning for the local time but the airport was so busy....probably planes to different parts of UK embark from Dubai and that's why everyone stopping there....we waited at Dubai airport for a good 4 hours and finally board the plane once again...oh ya....btw, my send in luggage weigh 31.4kg, hand carry 12kg, back pack 9kg and laptop bag almost 6kg...man!! dun count the send in luggage, I was carrying 27kg at a time...imagine how tired was that....and din know it's going to be worst in UK....

Finally, arrived at UK....thought got service to take us back to our accomodation....but our senior took us back by train instead....so, with all the luggages, we took a train to our university, and then have a good 10 minutes back to my "house"....actually it doesn't take that long, but because we were too tired, we took our time..by the time we reached home, we have to carry the luggages up to the top most floor, 5th floor to my room...man!! imagine I carry myself...I am so dead but luckily got my senior and a friend to help....our arms were totally detaching....but good also lar din follow the pick-up-service, we get to see and learn things faster....that's why the next day, after registration we straight away go open bank account and then start shopping...get all the necesities...cuz the night before, we have no bed sheet, no duvet covers and we were shivering our ass off at night..yes, got heater...but I only realise that I did not on the heater the next day...no wonder it was cold...haha!! so, we went shopping...there's this store that called Argos....it's like Ikea but somehow it's different....so, me and brenda sitting on the sofa, looking at the catalogue and started choosing our pillow and duvet and covers....then, go to the counter and tell the cashier which model u wan and they print a receipt and u pay...then they will call ur receipt number and u will collect ur stuff....so weird right? I got my V shape pillow and my duvet that is 13.5 tog with duck and down feather....but our pillow is so thin until Brenda said that it's thinner that roti canai....seriously, the cotton will make space for our head so in the end our head is touching the bed instead...wat to do...we wanted cheap marr...in the end Brenda have to abandon her pillow and get a pillow that cost 18 pounds....haha!!! ok, after shopping (where we get the box tissue, toilet paper and bla bla bla....), we started our journey home...ok, that's not fun...with all the load, we walked and took a 7 minute train back.....well, by the time we reached home....our arms were detaching soon...and muscles all tonned up d....

Then, the next day we went to Ikea...imagine...Ikea in UK....yeah, it's not near....we took a 7 minute train then transit another train which take bout 15 min....then walked bout 10 min to get to Ikea...yeah, that's how far...but we still have to go there to get towel rack, laundry bag, hangers and etc....we went with 3 guys....and the way they shop, is worst than a lady.....compare price, frequent minded, betul betul mafan k....by the time we reach home, it's already almost 8.30pm..siao...we went there at 11am in the morning k....imagine carrying a towel rack taking train...yeah, that's how we look like...when we were walking back to the train station from Ikea, we were so tired that we juz dump our stuff on the ground and started to lie down on the grass...even an aunty that passed by laugh at us...haha!! finally, reached home and I was so relief...

There's this night that I went dinner with my relative....we went to Chinatown to have dinner and the roast duck was good....but then, the bill also good as it came up to 70 pounds...man!! it's like almost 500 bucks back at home...siao betul larr...we only have like half roasted duck, "char siew and siew ngap", one veggie, squid and rice....great right?

So far, life is good here...and tiring as well...tired of walking because they dun have much escalator here....from train to get to platform, it's stairs.....I miss Alfred, and Evil Rabbit and even "Lambogini"...(my family should know....they are my cars at home...) it's really tiring....my muscles are tonning up everyday....TIRED!!!! and the things that we need to get seems to be a neve ending story....siao lar!! I AM SO TIRED OF WAKING!! GETTING A BIKE SOON!!! gosh!! and I miss home too...especially my family...and my nice bed and pillow, good smell bathroom...white light lamp....haih........trying to get use to the life here...they seem to go clubbing everynight...

It's seriously a whole new chapter in my life....Cheerz mate!!

I am FINALLY free!!

2009-08-28T08:25:00.000-07:00

TODAY is my last day at my working place and I am done for good....no more excuse that can make me stay as I have already tolerated long enough....and that still reminds me the song "Great Escape" ......especially the last sentence: " We are finally free tonight..."

Let's recall...i started working year 2008 April and throughout this period, I have been going in...going out, spending every semester break working there.....it's like my second home during the holidays.....can't deny I have learn loads.....and to learn those knowledge, it required much patient as well as determination and strong will to be there for so long.....time flies working there.....the day just pass with a snap of finger....Also, I made plently of friends....from the start till the end, I think I manage to meet almost 15 to 20 new friends.....we stick together through thick and thin....get scolded together...still have to smile at customer although they argued and shouted at us...sometimes we even raise our voice but it seems their voice were always louder.....boss yell at one but we all felt the pain...laugh all laugh together...stupid jokes...eat "hei pan" for dunno how many consecutive days....and due to that, I think our friendship will last even longer after we all separated...

I won't forget those uncles and aunties that scolded me dumb and stupid for not knowing their regular items during my first month.....and because of that, I tried even harder to remember the needs of each of them.....and finally, even the worst customer can joke and laugh with me.....however, there are still some that are so pathetic that I still loathed at the sight when they walk into the store....now, I dun have to see their faces anymore....Don't have to argue with them anymore...To YY, Leng Ooi, Esther, Chitra, Li Yi, Ryan, Thomas, Michelle, Wen Jia, as well as Mr Nordin, it's been a pleasure to know u guys and I will miss those dreadful, memorable and wonderful times that we share together....we were all on the same boat before but now we are all going separated ways.....wherever u guys are heading to, I wish u all "All the best and may ur dreams come true".....

Freedom...HERE I COME!!

All Memories in Farmasi XXX

Childhood

2009-08-13T06:44:00.000-07:00

是否還記得不怕太陽曬黑的日子
汗水任意揮霍在浩瀚的叢綠中
田園中遍佈了你我歡樂的足跡
還有被遺棄在那兒的天真

是否還記得不怕風吹雨淋的歲月
雨聲和笑聲穿梭在童年的午後
雨後的虹彩　總是那麼難以忘記
就像那不被雨水沖淡的回憶

當我們相繼長大以後飛向遙遠的地方
昔日的神采飛揚無法再現　只能在夢裡找
無論你我身在何處　
只希望你永遠記得這首歌謠

LENGGANG LENGGANG KANGKUNG
KANGKUNG DI TEPI PAYA
INGIN NAK MAKAN JAGUNG
TAPI SAYANG GIGI TAK ADA

P.S This is one song that definately will remind me of Malaysia while i'm gone...

Patriotic

2009-08-13T06:41:00.000-07:00

我帶理想飛向更高的天空
哪裡可以讓我看見更遠的大地
從今以後讓我選擇自己的步伐
因為明天的我不愿再停留這裡

曾經以為我的理想已去道盡頭
今天的我需要展翅高飛
KITA ANAK MALAYSIA
哪管前方風和雨
挫折越多只會讓我看得更遠
KITA ANAK MALAYSIA
哪管前方風和雨
不怕失敗同心協力向前邁進

Destiny...

2009-08-11T07:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was an awakening day for me...Once again, God made me realise something that I haven't even bother to think about before this....When I set my foot into the pharmacy yesterday, I saw this aunty buying something to boost her imune system....I went to the back to put down my bag and went back in front again...the next thing I know was, the aunty started to have tears in her eyes...and my boss even asked concernly: "y are u crying?" Well, it seem to be a stupid question to ask but somehow, it seems to be the best question at that moment....so the aunty let go her grief upon us....she blame God why has He taken her husband who is loving, hardworking from her....while I was standing there, I felt wat she was feeling....I tried putting myself in her situation and I felt the pain and emptiness...however, watever I felt is not as much as wat she is going through....and then, throughout the whole day, we have concern mothers keep coming in to buy face mask....and that day, the face mask sales was so good until I forgotten exactly how many boxes we manage to packed....the reason is because there are rumours that one kid from SK Taman Megah is comfirm with H1N1 virus....gosh!! it was really chaos...

Then in the evening, got a call from my sister telling me that someone we know passed away due to esophagus cancer...at that point, I really wanted to cry....gosh!! it was so sudden...and i never hear we can get cancer there...when I thought of wat she's gonna go through, I feel like going straight to her and gave her a hug...

All this happen made me realise that life is so vulnerable...seriously, we should really appreciate wat we have and do not waste a minute of life....who knows wat will happen in future or we might juz drop dead on the street without doing things that we thought we have time for...we will regret for a life time.....enjoy each second of it...no matter sweet, sour, pain, sorrow....it's juz life....

Verse...

2009-08-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted;

He rescues those who are crushed in spirit.

We felt we were doomed to die

And saw how powerless we were to help ourselves;

But that was good,

For then we put everything into the hands of God,

who alone could save us

Blow...

2009-08-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

Long ago, I have realised that everything happen for a reason...and so far....anything that happen to me still has a happy ending and I really feel blessed....I had hard times, especially during exams....but i still manage to pull through and learn a great deal from it....Once I read in a book and I found this quote: Since u can never change whatever that already occur, then change urself to suit the new environment.....Somehow somewhere, I used this quote before.....and now, I am still here, surviving....

And when we say everything happen for a reason...u have no idea wat's the reason and how u are gonna appreciate the ending until u are way further in the future....when u look back and start to connect all the small little dots representing those dreadful events, u will see why has God plan this for u....to make u stronger? to make u a better person? although u will live miserably for a while, or even ur whole life bearing the consequences....when everything is done....u will certainly get ur reward...

I can't say I fully understand how u feel because I am not the one bearing the pain....but when i see the sorrow on ur face, it hurts and pains me and I really hope u can find a way out....find a way to open ur heart and accept things that u cannot change...u are gonna live with it ur whole life....and don't tell me u gonna spend ur whole life moaning about what happen to u and why this happen to u and not others...life has much more than that to offer....if u consider urself as pathetic, what's gonna happen to those who are living in a much worst situation that u do? u r way better than those who do not have proper shelter or those who are actually living on a life support machine....

Life is an everchanging environment...we can never always be at the wrong side of the road...at some point, we will finally be on the right track again....all I can ask from u now is just be strong...dun give up....no matter how bad the days are gonna be, no matter how dreadful u feel ur life is gonna be in the future, i just plead desperately to u that u will continue to hold on....just be a little bit more patient....although there seems to be no way out, I am sure somewhere along the road, u will finally found ur rhythm....if u feel tired, take a rest but please don't quit because of all u know...u might be just one more step away....God is testing us everyday but He will not give us a test that is beyond our limit....nor He will give u the test and walk away from u until u get it right....the truth is God is always with u and there's always a purpose for every test....including bringing up an ability that u never know u have it in u...I just want u to know that no matter where u n I gonna be in future, if u need someone to lean on....I am always there offering my shoulder....

"Destiny is no matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, but a thing to be achieved....Everybody can be great because anybody can serve..You don't have to have a college degree to serve, nor to make ur subject and verb agree to serve...All u need is a heart full of grace, and a soul generated by love..."

So long....

2009-08-04T08:04:00.000-07:00

Well, here goes all the nice commercial advertisment by Yasmin Ahmad....as well as those movies....Sepet was one of my first experience watching malaysian movie....and it gave me real good impression to continue to watch her movies.....and i really like sepet...although there's no ending, somehow, it increase the quality of malaysian movies as well as bring fame to malaysia.....and her Hari Raya, Chinese New Year and Merdeka commercial...gosh...those were awesome...never knew anyone has ideas like hers.....especially those commercial during chinese new year and hari raya, i actually cried watching them.....i will miss her.....as well as her works.....So long, Yasmin....We will always remember u.....

warm clothes....

2009-07-26T20:43:00.000-07:00

Well, i never really appreciate how nice to have warm clothes to wear, nice washroom to do business as well as even a bicycle to travel..

So, i spent the last weekend at the Outward Bound school in Lumut...arrived there at about 1pm after a blur journey....there were towns that i never thought they were in Selangor: Sekinchan, Ijok and dunno what else...had registration session..man! there were so many forms to fill and actually had our temperature checked due to the H1N1 outbreak....worst of it, they actually confiscated our handphone and all the snacks that we brought.....how nice...since i left school 4 years ago, i never get my phone confiscated at any camp...seriously, first time....After chucking our luggage at the dorms, we went down for our sailing course....well, we had a 2 hours crash course on how to manage a sail as we are going out for an expedition the next day.....imagine where ppl take a day to undergo that course, we manage it in 2 hours.....those terms that we had to remember: oars, tilttler, york, ruddher, fenders, main sail, mizzen sail, jib sail, and the list go on an on....by the time the instructor reach 3 quarter of what he was supposed to teach, i already forgot what he taught before that.....Finally, dinner....we went to Sitiawan town( i think it is) to have dinner at some restaurant name 578....and the restaurant opposite is 933...guess those sitiawan ppl like numbers....

Next day, went out sailing at 8.30am.....row and row and row....seriously remind us of the children song " Row, row, row ur boat....gently down the stream...." the difference is, we were not rowing down the stream, we were rowing in the middle of the sea and it's not gentle as far as i remember....no matter how hard we row, the sail juz seems to stay on the same location...it was really tiring....until i got blisters all over my hand and my ass hurts....for the first hour, there were no wind and we can't put up the sails...so we practically row till our hearts out.....keep praying for wind...if not....we have to row for good 6 hours( the expedition takes 6 hours, with wind of course)....finally, the wind came and we put up the sails...at last can rest a bit.....still, had to row at times.....when we started sailing, we sang rod steward's "Sailing" ....." sailing, i am sailing, home again, 'cross the sea....." towards the end, we were singing..." dying, i am dying..................." and that's when we started to appreciate the mode of transportation we have besides whailer....even bicycle was faster, not talking bout a car...we sail pass pangkor island and pangkor laut resort....well, we were passed-by by the speed boats used to ferry those holiday makers going towards pangkor laut and they waved at us....man!! we felt so jealous and dumb and started wondering why were we here rowing like mad dogs....Well, in sailing....i learnt that we really need the cooperation and momentum and team work....if we dun work together, we will go no where....juz stay at the same spot in the middle of the sea....i never spent 6 hours on the sea before and i experienced it by sailing....when we finally touch the land 6 hours later, we started asking each other...." i am suprised that ur arms are still attached....thought u dropped it in the sea.."

If u think that's all for the day...u r wrong....after some washing up, once again we packed our bags and board onto a boat where we were heading towards some island and camped there for a night....cleared the place and set up tents.....the washroom was "wonderful"...like old days where we have to dig a hole and poo...although we dun have to dig a hole, there were no flushing system...so, it's as well as digging a hole....we had fly sheets as doors and pipes to wash our shit away....and i had my bath in a cubicle that has shit floating...it's really a "toilet"...gosh!! never i experienced it before....after dinner, i went straight to bed...so tired....but then, at 4am, i was on duty for watch...so, stoned there for 2 hours....sat at the beach staring at the shore line where they actually have glowing seashells washed up....all night, i was seeing thunder...and prayed that it won't rain...but maybe God has other plans, and it kept raining all the way till we reach the base camp again.....it was not a nice ride as it was freezing nor a nice weather to clean up the tents and washed up everything....gosh!! i was freezing to my bones but still had to wash the tents and pitch them up to dry......there cleaning the tents and fly sheets under the rain, we were actually wondering why did we actually put ourselves in this situation...it so much more nicer to stay at home with the air condition, clean and warm clothes, nice cup of coffee instead or camping with bunch of mosquitoes nor spending hours in the rain....however, it still comes back to the same point: to serve, to yield and not to strive...

Finally, get to go home.....and was having a fever on the way back...i was in a van that had no head rest on my seat and the road was so bumpy.....i was so sleepy and yet didn't have the chance to sleep.....at one moment i actually thought my brain jumped out from my skull and dislocate my neck....by the time i reached home, i had no extra strength to even walk cuz the fever was high enough....changed into pyjamas and jumped into the soft bed and warm blanket.....

It was really and experience and i hope i have the chance to go again.....to experience again rowing like arms are no longer mine or feels like i practically left my legs on the shore and my arms on the sea.....

Memories...

2009-07-07T20:39:00.000-07:00

So here we stand

In our secret place

Where the sound of the crowd

So far away

And you take my hand

And it's feels like home

We both understand

It's where we belong

So how do I say

Do I say goodbye?

We both have our dreams

We both wanna fly

So let's take tonight

To carry us through

The lonely times

I'll always look back

As I walked away

This memory will last

For eternity

And all of our tears

Will be lost in the rain

When i find my way back

To your arms again

But until that day

You know you are

The queen of my heart

M I R A C L E

2009-07-07T20:10:00.000-07:00

So, went back to college to get results this morning and was told that the results were not out yet as my lecturer is still holding the results....gosh! and we were told that today we can collect the results slips....haha!! thought i had an empty ride all the way from PJ to Subang....but in the end i thought of dropping by lecturer's room.....then after some introduction of what i am currently doing, we went into the main topic.....yeah, I PASS ALL MY PAPERS!! seriously, PRAISE LORD!! it's really miracle that i pass.....i thought i was going to fail so badly that i even prepare myself for the worst before i collect my results...."LORD, grant me the serenity to accept things that i cannot change" ...that's how bad it is....somehow, i had this feeling that God is with me and i didn't have sleepless nights before the results were out....i sleept perfectly well compare with other nights....THANK GOD!!

Somehow, these days....i have open my eyes to God's miracle...seriously....everywhere i see....i found His miracle....my cousin's grandma was saved, and my mum's friend's child which was only 900g when she was born was saved, and i passed my exams even though i know perfectly well that i would have failed.....seriously, if not because there exists miracle, they were long gone....

To those out there who feel dejected, outcast, a total failure and idiot, watever u are going through is a test from God and He will not put u through tests without helping u nor tests that are beyond ur ability....if u think watever u are going through is not something that u can take, it's His tests trying to prove to u that u have much more in u that u have not realise all this while....look inside u, search much deeper that u never been and u will see that there are much more goodness in u that u have not seen, not until u are put through tests.....miracle does happen...have faith and don't give up easily.....it's not about the conclusion nor the results, it's about wat have u learn and gain throughout the process....the rest, are juz secondary.....So ppl, shake off the feeling of lonely, sadness, disappointment, hopeless and embrace the ray of light, of hope and of all, miracle........

Plans...

2009-06-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

well, exams are over long ago and now, i am supposedly having my sweet holiday....is it exactly sweet holiday? no, i dun think so....work 13 hours a day....whole day standing and serving customers that dun even know that what they can imagine actually doesn't exist YET on earth....as well as those who dun even understand that "I AM NOT THE BOSS AROUND HERE and can't give u further discount unless u wait till my BOSS comes back!!!" theory...can't understand.....sometimes for that RM 0.60 also they want to fight with us...haih....human...hope i won't be like them one day....seriously, it's so irritating....there's only one important lesson that i learnt since started working last summer...that is: dun do stupid things juz to satisfied urself and end up looking like an idiot....ppl outside will be looking at u like some kind of alien...

If i say i haven't learnt anything since holidays started, it's a big fat lie.....after so long, i learnt that: no matter how hard u plan, how bad u wish sth to happen, God is the final decision maker and He decides what should be done and what shouldn't.....with this, i have been through 2 scenes....one of it, last week, receive news that my cousin;s grandma, which i am also close with...fell down and knock her head on the ground during the fall causing internal bleeding in her brain....there's only 30% chances to live either with operation and without operation.....so, my aunt and her family decided that it's too risky for her to do the operation because she's already 92 years old......when i heard the news, i was devastated.....she juz came down to KL to celebrate my birthday juz 1 day ago before that accident....i can't imagine she's will be gone because juz the day before i saw my cousin cutting up the food for her at breakfast nor she hugging me and asking me to study hard before she left that evening....and i realise that there's no way she will be out of danger besides a miracle....and true enough, she was discharged from the hospital few days later and now spending her days at home....although she is not as healthy before, still, she's hanging on.....

In less than 48 hours from now, u will be gone....and till u finish with what u need to do, that's when i am gonna meet u again which is, 3 years....nice, it's exactly 1095 days...thought there will be chance, but i never thought that i will be the one sending u away...it's suppose to be the other way round...again, this is not about what we want nor what we plan....it's God's plans and purpose....however, this is what u decided, and i have no power in anyway to stop u...all i can say is all the best and take care of urself while u r out there....

So let's take tonight

And never let go

While dancing we'll kiss

Like there's no tomorrow

As the starts sparkle down

Like a diamond ring

I'll treassure this moment

To we meet again

But no matter how far

Or where u may be

I juz close my eyes

And you're in my dreams

And there u will be

Until we meet

PS: I seriously like this song...it's the best song on earth...although it's a bit the old fashion....

I am WISER...

2009-05-06T02:54:00.000-07:00

So, how am i wiser? Dunno why...everytime when exams comes, sure got wisdom tooth....during my 1st year finals, I also got wisdom tooth....after finals, the wisdom tooth somehow stop growing....then now finals again, the wisdom tooth start growing again.....like my sister said: I am only "wise" during my exams period...maybe my body got enzymes that prone to exams....somehow during exams period, the enzymes will be generated and activated and send signal to my mouth to allow the wisdom tooth to grow...no exams, no signal...and growth prohibited...ARGH!! pain gila....can't wait til exams finish and it will stop growing...

Countdown to EXAMS...

2009-05-04T22:07:00.000-07:00

well, exactly 6 days later...i am gonna have my first paper....mass, heat and momentum transfer....then exams stretching till 26th may, and i can announce that my life as 2nd year chemical engineering student is finally over.....taking a break from studying, here i am - blogging...yesterday, while i was looking for something that burried under my desk, i came across many pictures of my high school days....class picture, society group picture...haha!! look at my idiotic face last time....i was really laughing at myself....and my classmates...wah!! it's been long since i look at those pictures....really miss those days....CAN I GO BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL? so fun...play under the rain...running around the field....haih...too old for that d.....now, got more things on my head....

Lunch, went to some restaurant in Damansara Utama....well, there's this couple sat behind me and my mum and sister saw everything.....man! that family.....really mistreat their maid.....2 adults, one child and one baby..they had 3 plates of nasi lemak, half-boiled egg, some curry, bread and cake....while they enjoy eating, the maid is practically carrying the baby and staring at the food in front of her...my mum said, all the employer gave her was a quarter piece of cake that they ordered....this is so inhuman....if u wan to bring ur maid out, at least order something for her to eat and drink....even a cup of teh tarik also dun have lerr....she juz sat there and stare blankly, and sometimes at the food.....so pitty...no wonder cases that maid mistreat the babies at home or add some urine into the food happens....although to employers, they think they didn't do anything wrong or mistreat the maid, but small little things like that which u dun think is important actually made huge impact on their feelings.....some of the maids, once u did something wrong...they will remember always...and will try to seek revenge....if i were to be the couple, i would treat her better because i have a BABY in my house!!! crazy...so bad....pathetic..shame!!

seriously, can't wait for exams to finish...then i am free......plz...fast fast...juz finish it already....argh!!!

D U M B...

2009-04-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

Ok...i was forced to do this by KEN LONG....so KEN LONG, here it is....

Directions:Mark the stupid things you've done, then add up the number of questions you marked. Then multiply by two and you get your stupidness over 100.
1. [ ] Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. [ ] Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. [ ] Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. [x] Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. [ ] Choked on your own saliva while you were talking
6. [ ] Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not, or had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. [ ] Been caught staring at your crush by your crush
8. [x] Have looked for something for at least 5 min then realized it was in your hand
9. [x] Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. [x] Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. [ ] Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love-potion
12. [x] Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. [ ] Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. [ ] Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. [ ] Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. [ ] Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. [ ] Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. [x] Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. [x] Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. [ ] Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. [ ] Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. [ ] Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. [ ] Have run into a closed door
25. [ ] Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it (always happens)
26. [x] It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. [ ] Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. [ ] Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. [x] Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. [ ] Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. [ ] After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped on it
32. [x] Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. [x] Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. [ ] Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. [x] Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc when its on, even though you knew it was hot
36. [ ] Taken off your clothes to change into something else then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. [x] Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged .
38. [ ] Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. [x] Walked into a pole
40. [ ] Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident/stolen someones shoes by accident
41. [ ] Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. [ ] Tried to take a picture of someone's eye with the flash on
43. [ ] Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. [ ] Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. [x] Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there, you forgot what it is was that you were going to do (its an everyday thing)
46. [x] Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it!
47. [x] Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. [ ] Have poked yourself in the eye
49. [ ] Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. [ ] Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

fuiyoh....34 only....not bad wered...not that stupid afterall...haha!!

E X A M S ....

2009-04-26T20:43:00.000-07:00

so yeah...Engineering fair passed one week ago and now....study break....first paper gonna be in 11th may and there's goes a month long of finals....well, past months....it have been a "wonderful" journey.....it's like i was climbing up a mountain and finally, i lay my feet back on flat ground....one period, i was having all the burden on my shoulder and in the end, all juz disperse itself and i am once again free...first was camp....well, my detachment was planning to have a camp for all schools around Petaling district....maybe we take things too easy and thought that everything is juz the same thing as we did in school, in the end the way out was so misty that i can't see the camp is gonna be a success...there were so many obstacles that i had to overcome(btw, i was the elected camp commandant then) and it juz couldn't be done in a month plus time...the more i go into planning the camp, the more i felt that the camp juz can't happen in a month plus time...it's so many procedures to follow and prepare but so little time...same time, there were engineering fair, tests and experiment that we have to carried out before the fair, journal to be worried bout, and finals that are on the way...everything juz seems to come at one time.....so wat to do....God gave us tests to fufill His purpose and so, i juz had to follow.......it's like got road walk, no road jump that kind of situation...but finally, everything juz untangle itself and here i am once again....a FREE MAN! the camp was postponed, engineering fair was ok (though we din win the award) and journal, courtesy of piles of lab report and help of brenda and jon, i manage to finish it within 3 hours.....and wat's left now, FINALS....worst of all....

Lesson learn was: Do Not Be Too Harsh On Urself....No matter how hard u try, in the end the purpose and glory is in the hand of God.....Everything happens for a reason...and God will not give us some tests without helping us and leaving us juz to die....so, when u feel that there's no way and no matter how hard u try, things juz doesn't seem to be in the shape that u expect.....juz surrender it to God and He will take care bout it....

One more month, i am totally free....can't wait for it to happen....26th May....i am looking beyond the exams, at the time i am gonna spent doing nth and juz lay back and enjoy a cup of tea...free from lab reports, heat transfer, process system and wat not....wakakakaka!! dream meh....mummy say: Go Back To Work and earn pocket money for ur UK adventure!! ok lar...work also not bad....can get more experience and spent precious time properly....ok, back to Functional Product....ciaoz ppl...

Now what?

2009-04-10T05:53:00.000-07:00

well, one more week...year 2 semester 2 gonna end....should be happy, cuz won't be seeing Dr.M anymore...but, it's not a good thing neither cuz FINALS gonna come soon...man!! con't believe we have less than a month to study for FINALS where people in Birmingham taking the same course already finish their semester 2 weeks ago...NOT FAIR!!! anyway, did my last lab session a week ago...can't believe that time passed so fast....2 years has gone since the day i step into Taylor's as a Engineering student...my lab mates and I have been through all the experiments together for 2 years and we are like one of the group that haven't undergo any changes in members for 2 years...in this 2 years, we had dealed with sago, freaking emulsion (we repeated the experiment 3 times), distillation column and bla bla bla....calculations....graphs....elongate the report so that to produce long report of almost 10 pages when there's nth to write actually....haha!! really fun working with u guys...we played with the freaking mixer, heat exchanger, counting hundreds of sago and wat not....really gonna miss working with u guys....especially jon and chin zheng who will not be going to UK.....there are still lame joke from chin zheng during the last day of lab...

"where are u guys going for lunch?" meisy asked

"we are going to eat uncle seng" sam replied

"u all eat uncle seng, aunty seng will be very sad..." chin zheng commented

Btw, uncle seng is some restaurant that sells handmade noddle near Taylor's...maybe i phrase my sentence wrongly....but everyone gave chin zheng some swt look and was totally speechless...haha!! this is how lame our group is.....

I was wondering...my classmates always say that they dislike Dr.M.....but think of it the other way....are we gonna miss him instead when we go to UK? "Er.....er.....i dunno how u call that...er...er..." said Dr.M.....actually, he was trying to figure out how to pronounce "coagulate".....ME students actually ask us...."how u gonna listen in class if he keeps er....er...er...." haha!!! well known....

Engineering fair coming up...and my project juz failed during the last minute...stil have 1 more week to correct watever that needed...if not...only one word....SCREWED....and after engineering fair.....FINALS!! that time...betul betul SCREWED and SHIT!!!

Belong To

2009-03-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

我坚持的都值得坚持吗
我所相信的就是真的吗
如果我敢追求我就敢拥有吗
而如果都算了不要呢

或许吧或许我永远都不会遇见他
或许吧或许我太天真了吧

属于我的昨天之前的结局
我决定我的决定
属于我的明天之后的憧憬
我迷信我的迷信
属于我们点点滴滴的伤心
我们要各自忘记
属于我们闪闪发亮的爱情
我们再一起努力

属于风的那就去飞翔吧
属于海洋的那就汹涌吧
属于我们的爱该来的就来吧
为什么不敢呢不要呢

是他吧命中早就注定了的那个他
是他吧他原来就在这里啊

属于我的昨天之前的结局
我决定我的决定
属于我的明天之后的憧憬
我迷信我的迷信
属于我们点点滴滴的伤心
我们要各自忘记
属于我们闪闪发亮的爱情
我们再一起努力
我们还要努力

P.S when i first heard this song...i cried....the situation that i am in....i am feeling it through the song...its everything i feel at that moment....

KL Towerthon 2009

2009-03-01T06:39:00.000-08:00

SO, yeah..woke up at 4.50am today because have to meet at the Petronas near KDU college at 6...and before that, i have to pick casey from taman bahagia, dao shen from SS2 and jun hao from kelana jaya...yeah...that's how off traffic it is....but nvmn..it's boss's order...so have to follow...we started our journey to KL tower and reach there almost 6.50am.....haha!! was having a hard time trying to find a parking space....at first we parked at the road side but we kena halau because those ppl have to run through...so we have no choice but to enter one of the wisma across the road to park....and after all of us went in, we realise that we have to pay...and the parking rate is RM3.50 for the first hour and RM3 for the subsequent each hour....right...so if we gonna end at 1pm, great larr...the parking fee itself is gonna be almost 20 bucks...but we have no choice....boss was "smarter"....he went to park at the roadside further down and say its free....he actually asked us to drive our car and park where he did....and i was like...nvmn larr....pay then pay lorr....in the end, after the duty....when we exit, they charge us at flat rate RM10 per entry....not so bad though....but boss worst...he kena saman RM100....haha!! luckily din follow
him...if not....have to pay 10 times more....

Then, we had a nice walk up and we were all divided into groups to be stationed at specific floors....So, me, Casey, Rosli and Osla were assigned to the top floor where the finishing line is....and 13 minutes after they start, this Kenya guy reach the finishing line...freaking fast...we juz manage to take our breakfast and he arrive d....so chun larr....half way through, boss called and ask us to send 2 person to the 2oth floor...so, me and osla went down....obviously, by stairs....when we go up, we took the lift....the come down, we took the stairs.....stand at the station becoming the "water boy" for dunno how long, finally boss called again and ask us to go up....well, go up....yeah, so we had a nice little walk up.....btw, when KL tower says 1 floor, it means 4 to 5 level up....imagine the participants have to walk up 22 floors, it means all together almost 96 levels....and then down again...so we went up, took pic and it's time to go home.....boss so semangat, ask us to walk all the way down...man!! it's so freaking tiring...and hot!!! i was drenched when i arrive at the ground floor...and at every floor, we stop at the ventilators to get some fresh air and breeze....if not....i dunno d...crazy!! but it's an experience....

Ok, really tired....ciaoz ppl.....Dr. M, here i come again...ARGH!!

Post Office...

2009-02-18T06:15:00.000-08:00

SO, i went to the post office....why and what so great about it? why is because i went to send a DVD to some friends in JB and what so great....it's my first time sending a parcel.....well, the DVD for the camp just came out and since we did not copy it in bulk this year, i bet not much ppl will have it....so, being a nice person, i burn a copy and send it to those who are in JB hoping that they will share among themselves....they are the first to get the DVD lerr.....even the instructors also haven't get yet.....after class, since i got 3 hours break and the post office is just down the road....me and brenda have a nice little walk down the road...before that, she brought me to the bookshop to get a bubble pack..anyone dunno wat's that? if got...it will make me feel better...i din know that such thing actually exists...it's sth like an envelope but it's line with the bubble piece on the inner side to absorb shock or to protect the stuff u are sending.....IN the post office, i din know that have to take number.....and worst...i dunno wat are the charges....luckily brenda was there, and she teach me how to do it...in the end, i manage to send it by pos laju and obviously have to pay larr....

NOW, the most hot topic in town is the elizabeth case...poor thing larr...suddenly got betrayed when her nude pictures got into the hands of everyone...LESSON TO LEARN: be CAREFUL with guys....not to say don't fully trust them, but still.....trust them 99%, keep that 1% alert....50-50 is the best.....resignation is not at all a good option...if she give up like that, people will think that she is easily bullied....so, be strong and go against it!!

MATLAB, here i come!! ciaoz....

Motivation....

2009-02-18T06:08:00.000-08:00

You can't connect the dots looking forward

You can only connect them looking backwards

You have to trust that the dots will somehow connecting ur future

You have to trust in something

Because believing that the dots will connect down the road

Will give u the confidence to follow ur heart even when it leads u off the well worn path

And that wil make all the difference

If u live each day as if it is ur last

someday u will most certainly be right

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life

Don't be trapped by domineer, which is living with the results of other people's thinking

Don't let the noise of other's opinion drown out ur own inner voice

And the most important is to have the courage to follow ur heart and intuition

Because they somehow already know wat u truly wanted to become

Everything else is just secondary

No comments.....

2009-02-17T02:20:00.000-08:00

SO, how was Thaipusum? i dunno...walk under the hot sun up and down from the river to the main entrance of Batu Caves to make sure everything is fine.....dunno why...when we walked, nth happen...when we dun walk, everyone came searching for us.....i was at the same station as last year, the river base.....basically, nth happened and the worst case we had was a girl fainted, knocked her head on some aluminium thingy, and got a deep cut on a forehead...the cut was so deep that it didn't bleed and required stitches...nth much we can do but to send her to the hospital....while we were walking and walking and walking, there were quite a number of ppl who actually say "thank you" to us....so nice...finally felt that we were actually appreciated.....not like the first year when i was at the stairs....they scold us lerr....here are a few pic...

Group picture with the outstanding guy in white as our officer

Believe it...yes, he's hanging by hooks hooked to his body

Nth to do...so we juz take pictures

Our mobile unit...the only air-cond around

By the end of the day, we were all so tired that we actually slumped on the table where we suppose to eat...but i "geng" a bit, i some more can walked home from SAJI lerr.....not bad....

CHINESE NEW YEAR OPEN HOUSE was good too....everyone came...i mean....most but not everyone....right INGRID? haha!! no worries...juz kididng...the ppl that came increase d compare to last year..almost 120 pax..and my classmates juz got even more crazy....they played truth-or-dare and their "dare" stunts juz got even better....such as taking off clothes and take pic, hugging the lamp post....took of clothes and eat "luk luk"....i also dunno wat they do....but i think everyone enjoyed...oh ya...and they drank with my mum...whole bottle of wisky gone lerr....the best was...all the food was wiped clean and nth was left....even the "luk luk"...everything gone....so happy lerr...dun need to eat for 3 days....i remember the first year my house do house warming.....we ended up eating the leftovers for 3 days for 3 meals....siao man!!! maybe we are juz getting more professional at organizing such events....

COLLEGE is totally horrible....the worst case scenerio is the whole class dun understand wat Dr.M is teaching at all!! and he is teaching us two subjects...the 2 hardest subjects....walau!! i so gonna fail larr....freaking confusing lar he teach....he bring us go round-and-round in circles trying to explain till himself also blurr and finally...he stood there and laugh.....HIMSELF!! i was like...OMGosh!! siao d.....while we copy, we swear, scold, and did watever u can imagine when ppl are stress, confused and desperate....i really pray i can pass...and if i pass, it's miracle...not i understand wat is going on in class...Siao larr!!! and Dr. Singram's class, it's like english class.....do not ACCEPT and do no REJECT....why larr they dun use REJECT and ACCEPT? learning english meh? this subject is also no where near good because it's still confusing as ever..data analysis and bla bla bla..but, he did tried to explain and at least i understand...not like Dr. M....at times when i dun understand wat Dr.Singram is talking about, i turn and ask Brenda " wat is he talking bout? " ...she will answer " some indian language" ...haha!! ya, when i dun get wat he is trying to say....i imagine he's speaking foreign language....the bottom line: PRINCIPLE of PROCESS CONTROL and UNIT OPERATIONS totally SUX!!! argh!!

oh ya...my sis was in the newspapers yesterday....The Star....why? because her school band performed in some Open House of MBPJ....anyway, i grew with her band as well as she does....5 years my family went for every performance they have....from PJ to Kepong....my family walked with them along the way..help them to transport instruments....arrange chairs during the concerts..cheer for them when they need it (although a bit the malu)...they are the only high school which have band in PJ...not bad wered...anyway, well done sis!! we are proud of u!!

ok....done complaining d....ciaoz ppl...*cheerz*

Happy Chinese New Year & here comes nightmare....

2009-02-01T21:27:00.000-08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! hmm, before today...i was really in new year mood but after having a look at my timetable for the new sem.....watever happiness is all evaporated....freaking sad lar the timetable....friday have to study till 4pm...it's a freaking friday lerr....ok...nvmn...that's not so bad.....the worst part....we have 4 subjects under one freaking lecturer....and of all...it's Dr. M......siao lerr....4 freaking SUBJECTS!!! i dunno how am i going to go through this sem.....pass also i happy d.....OMGosh!!!

anyway......new year was good....went back to malacca with my sister ahead of my parents driving at 150km/h (shh...dun tell my dad..i was late for the date with my grandma....) so i can take my grandmother and aunty to do watever shopping they need....and that include waking up at 4.45am to go to the market.....haha!! i dunno whether i wan to cry of laugh that time.....ppl still sleeping and i am walking through the market like a zombi............first day of new year.....we only visited 3 houses in a day.....second day...worst.....spent my whole day in one house and within that period....my only companion is the tv....haha!! well, i am not that close with my cousins there...so yeah...no topic.....haha!! me and my sisters finish 10 chapters of the Hong Kong drama series that day lerr.....and being going back to malacca one day earlier, i came back to KL one day later than my parents......the day when i came back...it was raining like crazy....i can barely see the road ahead of me....and the worst is.....along the way....there are more than 7 accidents...it's crazy....i really prayed that all the accidents don't have serious injuries and above all, no one died.....these ppl juz dun know how to slow down eventhough it's raining like mad.....madness....

came back to KL....went a bit of visitings....and yesterday was my training for the thaipusum duty next week.....well, we carry the stretcher up and down the stairs and we juz occupied the center part of the stairs.....ppl kept looking at us, took our photographs and even video us like we were making some kind of movie...had some basic first aid training cuz most of the ppl there are high school students and the training ends at 6.....there's this bunch of tourists who came from one of the europe country....it's almost 30 of them went to visit Batu Caves....maybe they too excited or sth...when they came down from the bus....all of them are in the indian traditional clothes...men and women....so cute.....and they have the same colour for men and women......they pose in front of the cave and took a pic....they look so cute larr.....can't take my eyes off them....haha!!!

shit!!! tomorrow is going to be the first day of college and i am starting my 2nd sem of 2nd year.....quite chun right...but the reality is.....if i manage to pass this sem...it's truly miracle.....i dunno how am i gonna go through this...but i have faith that GOD will bless me richly and guide me through this.....................

Bed talk...

2009-01-04T05:35:00.000-08:00

FUIYOH!! never in my life i had bed talk till did not get to sleep....well, my cousin who are working in Singapore came to my house to stay last night because she had to attend a wedding dinner.....she came back bout 12.30am and her cab was to come at 4.45am....if we were to sleep...it's gonna be few hours and we had to wake up....so, we talk and talk and talk the whole night...wondering maybe along the way, we might fall asleep....but, we manage to stay up till 4.15am without falling asleep....haha!! so much to talk man!! ya, cuz very long din see her d...she's my only female cousin from my dad side...and i only got 2 cousins from my dad side....last time when she wask working here, we shared a bed k.....and when i was younger, during shcool holidays...i will always go to her hse in Malacca to spent the whole holidays...and she use to fetch me at the back of the bicycle to go for breakfast....and she go pak tou also bring me along....haha!! those were my childhood days....got more..but lazy to tell....got very malu wan also...hehe!! next time larr..

SO, manage to went back to bed to sleep for a while....then, we go SHOPPING!! yeah...at first, i was so lazy to shop....walk into the shop one round, then come out d.....window shopping nia.....finally, manage to find....and i only took 45 min to get the stuff (if not because of the queue i think it's gonna be faster)...then went to William's for dinner...man!! William's is really a high class MAMAK lerr....the dinner cost RM100...in a MAMAK!! well, cousin brother belanja larr....so nice of him...THANX bro!! but he always bully me....keep asking me to wear a dress...heels...find a bf....bla bla bla....so bad...*sob sob sob*

FINALLY, home sweet home...or rather....BED sweet BED!! haha!! oh ya...another thing...TO THOSE who are going back to SCHOOL.....have a GREAT school year ahead ya!! all the best in STUDIES!!!

The 1st day of a brand NEW year...

2008-12-31T22:28:00.000-08:00

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!!! well, spent yesterday night in 1U....the concert was freaking boring...i almost juz fell asleep at the roadside...all chinese songs....and even got nice disco ones...no one teman me to siao....everyone juz stare at me...so malu....anyway, i wasn't the only one k......got Malays and Indians there....they are like me....almost fell asleep...luckily, the fireworks conpensated everything...IT WAS AWESOME!!! everytime i thought it was the climax and end already, another loud B A N G and the fireworks continue on....it went on for at least 10 minutes.....this year, the fireworks was special...how special...i dunno how to describe...those who were there, u guys should know....the only thing i know is, we were all standing freaking close to the place where they locate the fireworks....oh then, maxis was jammed up...cannot call out...cannot message...my mum was trying to call my sis in japan because the host family was waiting for our call too...but maxis was super jammed up...so cannot call till 1 sth in the morning...and i was trying to call maggie and kek jin because i promise them i will since they so charm got no where to go....but the line cannot go through....haha!! finally manage to call them, but it was at least good 20 minutes later...so sorry guys!! but i really did tried....

Well, the whole night...got banyak nice message circulating around...but i extremely like this one:

- Let this new year be like a plane ride with God as ur pilot,

Dreams as ur wings,

Hope as ur fuel,

Love as ur engine,

Good friends as ur crew,

Faith as ur safety belt,

And finally,

Happiness as ur passenger -

Have a BLESSED NEW year ahead!!!

New Year's Eve (last post for year 2008)

2008-12-31T02:23:00.000-08:00

So, year 2008 is gonna end soon....and it's a sad ending with the whole world having recession now and everyone is predicting it's gonna be worst next year....well, my year 2008 is not that bad after all...let's see.....

Part 1
I finished my first year by getting second upper class...it's not that easy as i was juz a first year student....young and dumb....even my hands on project almost fail...however, we manage to pull through the whole first yeaer without any serious damage done....

Part 2
Got my first working experience....as a sales assistant in a pharmacy...well, it's not that bad...although i dreaded it at first, but still manage to pull through....everynight came home with a sore leg that almost patah....however, i manage to learn lots about everything and now....i am still working there....

Part 3
I passed my Diploma in Music....was so happy when my piano teacher message me and told me that i passed....so proud...and i felt that i was really blessed...with my performance that day, i really thought i was gonna fail and have to retake it again....but God really bless me and i passed....Thank God!!

Part 4
PBSM finally won back the championship after dunno how many years being at the second place...was so proud of the team....and obviously, i did help k....still remember trying to teach those who march with left hand and left leg....teach them how to stop.....teach them how to turn (almost cried).....helping out in the formation as a "ke leh feh".....Every hardwork finally paid off....Still remember when we were announced as CHAMPION...i was seriously stunned....dunno wat to say...thought i heard wrongly....then when i turned around, i saw the president and vice present were hugging each other and tears were flowing like water paip, i knew i din hear wrongly....the only thing i manage to do is, congrats my senior for all the hardwork he poured and i juz stone there and finally walked away......CONGRATS TO THE PREZ AND VICE PREZ!!! and special thanks to FUE XIANG!!

Part 5
The Youth Holiday Camp 2008 in Benum Hill Resort was a success....everyone enjoyed very much especially me because it's gonna my last year becoming an instructor....well, i really make an effort trying to remember those ppl...but unfortunately, i can't cuz my brain capacity is too small...it's better this year compare to previous years cuz i can't barely remember anyone....or can say...not a single one...(ask isabelle..she's the best example) this year, i can remember at least 20 ppl lerr.....improve d....

Well, although it seems that i really had a great year....the bad ones have their fair share too....i lost one of the precious "thing" in my life....second year in University is as bad as it is....cuz too getting more challenging and hands on project was a failure...However, if we have a prefect year....with no nth happen...then it's gonna be weird....i juz Thank God that i am still alive today to type this post and there's nth more i expect....

Year 2009 is gonna be more challenging as i am leaving to UK....i guess everyone is looking forward for a better year ahead....COME ON PPL!!! let bygones be bygones....watever sad things, unhappy, unsatisfied moments, let the countdown cheers to the new year wash them away (obviously u keep the happy ones)....and when the cheers is at it's peak, it signifying to a new start....leave the old memories some corner in ur heart....and let the majority space in ur heart filled with curiosity for the new year.....GAMBATTE!!! Let's usher a whole NEW chapter in the Book of Life for YEAR 2009!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Pictures from Vietnam....

2008-12-29T22:42:00.001-08:00

I was just trying to help

My car for 5 days..her name is "siao bai"

On the boat

The boat i spent a night in

Nice scenery with poser

We went through that lubang k

Scenery from Halong Bay

My room on the boat

This is where Ho Chi Min's body is kept

This temple stands on just a wooden pole

Home Sweet Home...

2008-12-29T22:13:00.000-08:00

Never in my life i felt so happy to be home...finally got back home yesterday night...and the airport was so tense as Louise Khoo was to arrive at almost the same time as i do....well, the last two days in Vietnam carries the most dramatic scene among the 5 days when we were there.....so, the 4th day....we had a 2 and a half hours drive to some place to see "Halong bay on land" .....well, that place is really sth like Halong Bay, the different is Halong Bay is in the middle on the sea whereas this time, the place is on land....we had a small exercise to see the oldest temple they have in Hanoi, went for lunch...and bump into a fellow camp mate...right.....the world is so small again....then we board onto a small boat which takes 2 ppl at a time....and we had one uncle and one aunty to help us to row the boat...of course, i helped....well, the scenery was really good....it was awesome!! it's a 2 hours ride....one hour to go in and one hour to come out...we pass 3 lubangs and finally reach into some place where some other ppl surround and ask us to buy things that we dun need.....wah!! like movie lerr...they surround us....luckily din rompak us....haha!! after good 20 minutes only they start to row the boat back....well, me and my sis got bored so we had some music played...and we play " Can I have this dance? " not bad wered...with the environment and love song...it's totally perfect....then, the aunty on the boat started to bring stuff out and "force" us to buy...siao wei....we told her we already bought it somewhere....but she still insist....finally, she gave up...and her facial expression is totally different compare when we first board the boat....she like pissed off....fine....that's not only that....when we have like another 800m before we reach the shore, she started saying "tip"....at first i thought what vietnam language she's talking bout...when she gave that money gesture, i only realise she was asking for tips....well, it's not like i won't give....cuz the tour guide told us that we had to give 20000 for each person....so we already prepare the money long before...actually we wanted to give more than the amount required which is 40000 to 60000....and she literally forcing us to give her money 800m away from the shore!!! who knows if we give d....she not happy with the amount she she ask us to swim back the shore...and when we din give it to her, she keep repeating "tip....tips...tip..." me and my sis were getting so bored of it until we dun care bout her...my sis even help to row faster....haha!! and my some aunty actually shouted across the river asking us to give 50000....i was like...OMGosh!! softer larr....so loud...until the aunty like..." faster....50000...." wat the....i almost go crazy k....never in my life ppl ask money from me till like that....before we got down the boat, i gave my sis 60000 to give it to the aunty....and since she was asking for 50000...when my sis took out the money to give it to her, she kept 10000....the aunty saw the other 10000, she tug my sis baju and demand for that extra 10000....my Gosh!! where got like that one....siao....i know they row till very tiring...but dun need like that kuar.....in the end, even before saying "thank u" , me and my sis quickly jump of the boat....my sis was so angry until before the boat stop, she step off and almost fell into the water....haha!!

Right after we got off the boat, we head straight back to the town....even my mym's boat also encounter the same situation...haha!! before the 4th day, if ppl ask me wat so interesting bout vietnam...i will say the "Honking" music and the dust particles floating in the air....but now...i will say this is the most interesting....well, on the way back...we were caught in the jam for almost 2 hours.....siao d....and we were listening to ABBA song....the CD pratically repeated for 3 times...and another CD was repeated for 2 times.....guess for now...i won't listen to ABBA for the moment...haha!!! had buffett in some restaurant, and went back to hotel...we went back to the hotel as early as possible because that night...Hanoi was hosting the final football match between Vietnam and Thailand....and Vietnam won....they were celebrating like crazy....whole night they have disco with some song that i dun understant at all....siao....luckily me and my sis were watching "At World's End" so our volume practically covered the volume of their music....

The last day...can't wait to go home...if we were to stay there any longer...i can go crazy....like my sis says...." if we stay here another few more days...when we go home...we need to go see psychiatric..." was so happy when we step out of the airport...had a nice dinner....obviously, not goreng to perfection....

Continue from Vietnam....

2008-12-27T06:26:00.000-08:00

right...back...Thank God for a safe trip to Halong Bay, which is at the middle of the sea...well, basically yesterday we had a 3 and a half hours journey to the port to board onto the ship that we were suppose to spend a night in.....so, we board onto the ship, had lunch...and went to visit some places in the bay...had dinner...and that's it...no tv...no comp..no nth....basically, by 9...we can all go to bed....and the food....it's all goreng to perfection...breakfast...lunch, and dinner...siao d....my cholestrol level sure go up like crazy....luckily we only staying there for a day...if not....i rather jump into the sea and swim back to the shore....but half way swimming, can see shit floating....cuz watever we flush through the toilet bowl goes down into the sea....after a long night, we came back on shore and took another 3 and a half hours back to the town....went dinner and SHOPPING!!! well, the money here horr....super crazy wan lerr...so many zeros....i can have 100000 in my pocket....but dong (vietnam currency).....buy one pair of track suit...it's 750000....not bad...if it's in Ringgit...i can buy a house....or maybe a S350 d...oh ya....the weather here is quite cold....it's like Genting (olden days)....when we check the weather forecast, it's state 19 to 25 degree....when we come here...it's only 11 degree...siao d...we thought not so cold...so we din prepare any thick jacket or sth....we even brought shorts and sleevesless....the first day we arrive....those ppl look at us like we are some kind of alien....cuz we wear super thin only...macho betul...and when we try to talk to them...it's like chicken talking to duck...no idea wat they are talking bout...and they dunno wat we are talking bout....ok, that's all for now....nitez...time to sleep.....tomorrow another 2 and a half hours journey...

Greetings from Vietnam....

2008-12-25T06:20:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am....in a country that has different culture compare to malaysia....and it's on Christmas Day.....board the plane at 10.45am, and the journey took bout 3 and a half hour...by the time we reach Vietnam, it's well pass lunch....however, we still went for lunch at almost 3pm.....and guess what...we had a first class dinner at the restaurant...we had 10 dishes for 4 person while the table next to us only have 5 dishes for 4....siao d.....so, we din really finish everything...tried so hard but still...can't help it....too much....at least we get to try some local dishes....then, went to some park where their "bapa kemerdekaan" stay during his life and also went to his tomb...well, we can't go into the tomb (not like China) and at some places, there's a boundry that we cannot step into....kind the strict lerrr.....got police standing there to guard some more....but at least they are doing sth to protect their historical places.....then, went for dinner...dinner was at a chinese restaurant and luckily, the dishes is not as much as lunch....so we manage to sort of finishing everything......and dunno why...their dragon fruit here is sour and the papaya is bitter...worst than the bitter ground....siao...the only normal one is the watermelon....i can't imagine the watermelon being salty or bitter....

In Vietnam, there are two normal things that we can always see....1st, motorcycles....man!!! there are so many of them...this is my first time seeing so many of them at the same time on the road...walk on the street also scare....and the worst is when u cross the road...it's crazy here....they don't care...they just want their way....even u are crossing, they still honk at u and give u that kind of stare....and they keep honking...i think the best seller here besides bikes, it's gonna be honk system...so even i was complaining bout the drivers in Malaysia compare to Europe countries, now i think Malaysia is better....at least got some system....2nd, wayers...dunno why....maybe because here is a bit the slow in development...their wayers are hanging up in a bunch like spiders....in one bunch, there are many small wayers...at least got 20 of small wayers...siao....if suddenly one short circuit....i think fire sure happen and the whole thing gone...that's why their kereta bomba here qutie canggih...like the ones we have back home...

ok....gtg....times up....going to spend a night on the boat tomorrow....will update when home....ciaoz ppl...Merry Christmas!!!! oh ya, i found a book that is worth to read....try Rick Warren (i think it spells like that) - Purpose of Christmas.....i really like that book...if dunno wat to get for christmas for ur friends of love ones....try that....it will be a good christmas gift....nitez........

The world is small...

2008-12-21T05:50:00.000-08:00

After months, finally got time to go back Malacca to see my grandma and celebrate her bday as well....so, went back on saturday afternoon after work...when reach grandma's hse, only got time to take shower then have to go down to town d....so, yeah...had a great dinner and went to portugis settlement to look at the christmas decoration there....to those who haven't been there, the portugis settlement is where most of the portugal ppl stay....so every year, they will decorate their hse for christmas and allow visitors to go into their hse to have a look....btw, it's kinda subsidised by gorvernment and sponsored by some good samaritans.......some houses, they really decorate till super nice....wait till i find the wayers to connect my hp to the comp then i will upload the pictures....it's really cool and beautiful....and this reminds me of New Zealand when i went there for youth exchange...the housing area got some competition and so all of them decorate till super nice....awesome!! but in malaysia, so far i only know portugis settlement in Malacca got such things....the next day, went down to town again to go to the temple where my grandfather is.....and then, while i was walking, i saw someone like saying my name...then i look at her....only to realise she's someone from the camp....haha!! she's like so suprise...i was to....she hug me some more...at the road side....she was suppose to cross the road actually....then i continue to walk, and i saw more of them...haha!! so funny...such a small world lorr...they are from JB and we juz somehow have the chance to meet in malacca....not bad....got jodoh...after lunch, we started our journey back to KL...while i was waiting at the traffic light and it's red....got this car suddenly cut in front of me....stop, came off his car, open the car boot, and took out newspapers....and i think the guy that came out quite "yeong sui" larr....the next thing we know....the ppl in the car were covering the windows with the newspaper....i was about the hand him my sun shade when we both stop at another traffic light....haha!! then pass the toll house, saw his car stop at the road side....and guess wat he is doing....sticking the newspapers that are dangling outside the window.....so weird larr...juz buy a freaking sun shade larr....crazy....finally, reach home at 4.45pm and rush to change and went for badminton....had dinner and now....i am falling asleep....nitez ppl.....

how are you my dear?

2008-12-14T19:42:00.000-08:00

挑一張耶誕卡寫上滿滿祝福的話
地址寫的是心底你能不能收到它
天有點冷　風有點大　城市寧靜而喧譁
這一個冬天我得一個人走回家

問自己習慣了嗎
沒有你每到夜裡回聲變得好大
有沒有什麼好方法　讓寂寞更聽話

你最近還好嗎　是不是也在思念裡掙扎
你說會記得我　還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎　忙碌嗎累嗎心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我　快向快樂出發

有再多的牽掛都已沒有權利表達
舊情人給的問候比陌生人還尷尬
昨天遠了　明天還長　回憶模糊但巨大這樣的深夜眼淚要怎樣不流下

life after camp....

2008-12-14T05:30:00.000-08:00

one week after the camp...life went back to normal...and now..i am back working...to all the aunties...i am back working in the pharmacy...can serve u all again...haha!! working is really tiring lorr...have to stand whole day....haven't totally recover from camp...my mum literally push me out from the house to go work...cuz my boss keep pushing....so yeah...haven't manage to screw back up all my joints...i am back unscrewing them further...siao d...it's gonna break soon...but back to work also means sth...that i won't waste my time doing nth at home...so yeah....pros and cons...TIRING LARR!!!

sent my sister to airport on saturday cuz she going to japan for youth exchange for 3 weeks....cool right? yeah, quite....will miss her like crazy...bye sis!! see u on the 3rd of Jan...take care!!!

camp.............

2008-12-07T23:44:00.000-08:00

Y E S!!! finally....camp is over...9 months of hardwork is finally paid off....well, went off for camp last wednesday....i almost gave up cuz i was sick until right before the camp and i didn't wan to go camp on the day itself.....but when i thought of the responsibilities that i have....i had to convince myself that everything will be fine....and prayed a lot for it....Thank God that everything went well......no nothing happen and everyone enjoyed themselves.....

Day 1
wednesday took off......everything went well besides i miss the petrol station that we were suppose to be stopping at.....but i manage to find another station for them to go toilet....then....instead going to the camp site, the bus driver drove us to a kacang factory and ask us to go down...i look at it....dunno whether to laugh or cry....then finally manage to find the camp site....not bad right...did some activities......like fire fighting...tug-of-war where the instructors lost to the participants...haha!! and they are so proud of it....then water boom....the instructors kena boom like crazy....they all so bad...all aim at us....and i was all wet....dunno they use water or mud....my shirt was all dirty....at night....taught those ppl CPR....wah!!! they actually know wat am i talking about....cuz they also learn CPR...so at least..i wasn't talking to myself....haha!!!

Day 2
The first thing i said to my room mate was " YES!! DAY 2 d.....3 more days..." haha!! so desperate...well, after breakfast, started the 1st activity....high ropes....well, i was in-charge of it this year and so i was up on the tower for 2 days....like drying ikan kering....cuz it's freaking hot up there....my gosh!! now when i take out my specs, i have 2 loops there.....so funny looking....that's the sacrifice of the instructors.....haih.....get burn up there...so hot!!!!!! after lunch...went up there again.....sun burn like mad lerr....well, each time..it's a different group that came up...we have 3 age groups.....so the 1st was 14 and above....those ppl....they were so scared...there's this girl..." if i die, plz take care of my baobei ar.....and chien yin, u can take all my clothes and bags...." and another girl, each time she reach one point, she will hug the pole like she never hug them before.....haha!! so cute these ppl....but anyway, everyone had their first time....so i dun blame them....they are juz cute....and it was a joke for the whole camp cuz i keep mentioning it to her...after dinner...went for night walk.....so tiring...up the mountain....only 2 groups went with me....the other 2...went the other way....and it was muddy and rocky....got free foot massage.....since it raina little before we went, leeches were everywhere.....some of them got suck.....not bad...experience for them......after everything is done for the day....all the instructors had meeting....till 12.30am....freaking tired lerr...i almost fell asleep there....haha!! ppl meeting, my brain shut down d.......zZZZzzzzzZZZ.......................

Day 3
As usual, the first thing i said to my room mate is " YES!! 3rd day d.....2 more days....." counting down to freedom....after breakfast, went back to my station..up on the pole....this time round....lagi siao...the age group that came up was about 8 to 10 years old..well, my station was the hardest to cross....man!!! those kids....they scold me lerr.....and they were crying cuz they were so scared....i say " move ur leg....let go ur left hand and grab the next rope..." they scold me like mad man!!! " I DUN WAN!!! I CANNOT!!! I WAN GO BACK!! " and i very scared when see ppl crying..it's like i am such a bad person....well, they already half way through....macam mana nak come back...continue is a better choice....finally, after spending some time to convince them to continue....everyone manage to complete without falling...my throat also dry like crazy.....as usual...it was freaking hot.....sun burn got worst.....ikan kering totally dry d.....after lunch, was in-charge of origami.....siao man!! i dun even know origami myself....so i ended up doing it with the kids....so cute...they teach me lerr.....and they are so talented.....frog larr....rabbit larr......lotus flower larr.....so nice......after dinner.....did some lecturing job.....after tugging them to bed.....had meeting again...till 12am.....and again, i was dozing off....haha!! but i got listen wan k....i am a good girl....but all of them always bully me....got this aunty even say i am too cute...the kids won't listen to me.....cuz i got baby face.....so happy....!! and isabelle also agree that i am cute....happy gila!!!

Day 4
YES!!! 4th day d...one more day......and we are free.....after breakfast.....had kite making session....as usual, i dunno how to make kite.....last time make kite also cannot fly wan....but anyway, at least i know my stuff....and taught them how to do it....not bad larr.....then lunch....and free time to prepare for talentime night...well, i am the person-in-charge for the night's session...and that was my biggest task for the camp.....that period of time is seriously freking stress....have to get ready all the music for those ppl...and there's this one group that really made me boiling.....but still, had to finish my job...so no choice......talk to them nicely, arrage for them in hope that they won't memalukan themselves that night.....finally, the time has come....the night went off well with the instructors being called as the inspectors...and ended up well with the disco night was the peak.....everyone jump and shake like mad...i was one of them....but everytime i rest for a while or go arrange the music....when i got out again...ppl sure grab me to dance with them....duh...i am popular marr....haha!! so perasan....well, the night ended at 1am....and luckily that night...no meeting...if not.....gila liao.....but that night...i slept at 2 sth....cuz have to pack and clear things....the song that i like the most that night was The Great Escape.....especially the last part of the lyrics " We are Finally free tonight" ....cuz it's exactly the same feeling that i have...and christine say i gila liao cuz keep singing the same thing....

Day 5
Finally, the day go go home has come...." WE ARE FINALLY FREE TONIGHT!!!" so happy.....i sang the song the first thing i do when i woke up.....oh ya...me and my room mates needed 5 alarms to wake us up....the 2nd day...1 alarm....3r day....2 alarm.....4th day....2 alarm....the last day....we needed 5 alarms to go off before we actually wake up....haha!! my room mates are my fellow instructors anyway....after breakfast, had certs presentation.....everyone was reluctant to go home....this proves that the bond that build up within the 5 days was so strong.....and i had to say that....i also feel sad...cuz this is my last camp.....last disco night.....so sad.....wil miss camp and all the friends that i made during the camp.....miss eating every meal together....sleeping together.....meetings.....haih......when we finally reach the museum, the ppl on my bus actually did the banana dance at the museum with everyone looking...so embrassing....but it was a sign that the camp was a success..............

Thank u guys for giving me such a nice last camp......To all instructors, it was a pleasure working with u guys...hopefully we will have the chance to work together again in future....To all participants, thank u guys for such a nice camp....u guys are a nice bunch of ppl....hope u all had a great time....will miss eating meals together, dancing together and get bullied by u ppl....muz always remember sam is cute....haha!!! Benum Hill Resort was where i start and end as an instructor.........Thank God for everything...................

this week....

2008-11-07T06:49:00.000-08:00

well, beside getting first degree burn in camp last weekend, there's nothing much insteresting happening this week....we still have heavy workload and things haven't get anywhere near better....

One fine day last month, i walk into MPH and bought this book by Nicholas Sparks: A Walk To Remember....dun need to say, i cried and laugh as i read the book....seriously, it a nice book....try to go find and read it...like in every book, things that i have never thought before will suddenly crept into my mind and made me go thinking.....

When we try to forget something that we know it's impossible to forget, why not just stop trying and let it continue to run in our memories as we lead on our lives.....although some may not be sweet memories, still it can be a lesson to learn....it's not easy to forget, and trying to forget is no where near easy....and when we think back, sometimes we may have the urge to just go back into the pass and try to fix things right....but if we try to fix something right, the outcome might not be wat it is today.....maybe it's good, or maybe it's just bad.....however it is, it's all in God's plan....

tiring soul....

2008-10-30T05:38:00.000-07:00

these few days...my laptop is my best friend...seriously, haven't been sleeping well these days....or can say...sleep also have to think of the amount of report that is left for us to do....crazy man....during the deepavali holidays....it's not even holiday....rushing for report like mad....never in my life i am so hardworking....and all Dr Marwan said was " how was your vacation? " ya, vacation with reports.....and it was "every single feeling we can feel on earth but fun"......he always thinks that we only have his subject in the whole wide world...everyday make me feel bad only..." guys, have u tried the tutorial? "...." guys, have u read Seborg chapter 2? " ..." guys, the have u read the Donald book?"..... " guys, ................." never ending......as phon says " Define holiday" ....and the reports are like never ending story...i finish one...come another 2...so, it's equal to not done but adding more....well, today as i come back from college...while driving and talking to brenda....we realise we have come a long way...both of us have one thing in common...we both fail math in form 2...imagine...form 2 we failed math because we both dunno how to use the buku sifir and solve simultaneous equation...ya, seriously...we failed....however, from failing math, we are now in chemical engineers...that's how far we come from....how good is that? well, looking and starring at those mountain high reports and never ending work load, i seriously miss those days when i was in primary and secondary school.....dun need to do so much...my GOSH!!! for the past weeks, haven't been sleeping earlier than 2 am.....and that also cannot finish all the things i have in hand....i also dunno why i choose engineering...it's the worst subject on earth...and this time, the engineering fair will be owned by chemical engineering students....cuz we are like ta pao everything...from posters to hands on project.....GOSH!!! i can die d....come to think of it, i dun even remember whether i breathe when i was rushing for the reports.....for one second, i thought i actually forget how to bernafas....and on my table in college, there's this words " Counting down to 22nd November"....y 22nd november? because that's when my holidays start....can't wait for it.....i think by the time that day come...i am already dead....one beautiful thing is...on the 20th, we have trip to port dickson Shell Refinery and 21st is engineering fair...so, the plan is....we just camp in college after the trip and tahan till the next night...good idea....crazy.........ok, i am done with complaining.....reports, here i come!!!!! argh!!!

So That You'll Love Me Still

2008-10-27T00:35:00.000-07:00

I understood all the words, I understood, thank you
They were new and made sense, that's why here
Things have changed, and the flowers have wilted
That's why the past was the past
That's why, if everything changes and wears out, then loves also fade away

You should know

I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else
Even if when you dance, others are dancing with you
I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame
I'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still

You shouldn't have started, attracted me, touched me
I shouldn't have given so much, I don't know how to play
People tell me that today, they tell me that's how other women do things
I'm not other women
Before we get too close, before we throw it away

You should know

I'll look for your heart if you take it somewhere else
Even if when you dance, others are dancing with you
I'll look for your soul in the cold, in the flame
I'll cast a spell on you, so that you love me still

I'll find other languages to sing your praises
I'll pack our bags for the fields of eternal harvests
I'll say those magic words spoken by African healers
I'll say them with no regrets, so that you love me still

I'll make myself a queen so that you don't leave me
I'll make myself new so the fire starts again
I'll become like those other women who make you happy
Your games will be our games, if that's what you desire
I'll make myself brighter, more beautiful, to rekindle the spark
I'll turn myself to gold, so that you love me still

Pour Que Tu M'aimes Encore

2008-10-27T00:23:00.000-07:00

J'ai compris tous les mots, j'ai bien compris, merci
Raisonnable et nouveau, c'est ainsi par ici
Que les choses ont change, que les fleurs ont fane
Que le temps d'avant, c'etait le temps d'avant
Que si tout zappe et lasse, les amours aussi passent

Il faut que tu saches

J'irai chercher ton coeur si tu l'emportes ailleurs
Meme si dans tes danses d'autres dansent tes heures
J'irai chercher ton ame dans les froids dans les flammes
Je te jetterai des sorts pour que tu m'aimes encore

Fallait pas commencer m'attirer me toucher
Fallait pas tant donner moi je sais pas jouer
On me dit qu'aujourd'hui, on me dit que les autres font ainsi
Je ne suis pas les autres
Avant que l'on s'attache, avant que l'on se gache

Il faut que tu saches

J'irai chercher ton coeur si tu l'emportes ailleurs
Meme si dans tes danses d'autres dansent tes heures
J'irai chercher ton ame dans les froids dans les flammes
Je te jetterai des sorts pour que tu m'aimes encore

Je trouverai des langages pour chanter tes louanges
Je ferai nos bagages pour d'infinies vendanges
Les formules magiques des marabouts d'Afrique
J'les dirai sans remords pour que tu m'aimes encore

Je m'inventerai reine pour que tu me retiennes
Je me ferai nouvelle pour que le feu reprenne
Je deviendrai ces autres qui te donnent du plaisir
Vos jeux seront les notres si tel est ton desir
Plus brillante plus belle pour une autre etincelle
Je me changerai en or pour que tu m'aimes encore

LAB........

2008-09-25T07:42:00.000-07:00

gosh!! today's lab session was the worst among all....well, referring to the last post, my 1st lab session of this semester went terribily wrong....to recap, we broke a beaker and the glass went flying everything and i got cut......so, today....we repeat the same experiment after the freaking mixer was replaced.....off we go and start our experiment at 3.20pm.......after the mixing part, which i thought was the hardest last week, we had to see the molecules structure with the microscope.....i had to conclude that the microscope part was the worst among all.....at 6pm, which is a good 3 hours later, we haven't manage to get a single reading because the microscope sux...totally cannot see....the stage was crazy....we only manage to see the particles on the surface of the stage but not our sample....we dun even know whether the particles was the particles that we were looking for or not....and so, our lecturer tried to fix the problem and we wasted the whole evening trying to solve the problem........argh!!! it's a good 4 hours k...by the time i reach home, it's already almost 8pm.....this experiment is so not good....2 weeks d...still fail....haih........poor thing...all in all, my classmates all finish one lab report d...i haven't even start my lab.......haih......well, school is really crazy...so many reports to do.....5 assignments....1 hands-on-projects......there's one subject.....it's only talks by lecturer...but then...we have to produce reports for each talk....imagine we have 2 class in a week, means we have 2 reports to do.....each subject.....that haven't include lab reports.....gosh!! wan die d......CAN I CHANGE COURSE??? ciaoz ppl...freaking tired....i had a tiring day.........................

Events....

2008-09-20T07:47:00.001-07:00

Well, looks like it's been a while since i have time to actually sit down and blogged about things...life's been great anyway...great things happen such as: i passed my diploma in music, i passed my PCL and i am back in university.....during these few months, i have been witnessing miracle happen....i passes my diploma although i thought i will "gagal dengan cemerlang"....it's true...if not because of God's blessing, i dun think i can get away from failing...i really did badly and din expect to pass....and now that i manage, i can only say that it's miracle and thank God for everything.....also, i passes my Pertolongan Cemas Lanjutan (Advance First Aid) after dunno how many trips to MMU for classes and last but not least, i am back to school....things been quite messy cuz we are having new lecturers and now we have to adapt to them....i am so blurr in class now....the lecturers are going so fast...dunno why they so scared that they will have not enough time to finish padahal we have plently of time provided we come back after term break.....and they go 2 hours straight with 5 minutes break time to juz go toilet.....so, we need to clear our mind while we are clearing our bladder.....so tired.....and last thrusday, we had class from 8am to 5pm....GOSH!!! that was really tiring.....and that night we suppose to have BBQ but none of my classmates actually went.....poor thing.....yesterday, we had our first lab session after 5 months....and i think in this 5 months....those apparatus in the lab juz gone rusty.....my group started the experiment juz to realise our so call "mixer" was juz a freaking mixer that we have at home....and it can't work....half way through mixing the arabic gum into the solution, the mixer start to give out loud sound and smoke coming out....so, the lecturer ask us to find a way to solve this problem....after rotting for at least half an hour, we decided to use the grinder, replace with our mixer blade and it works although not so efficient.....then, the lecturer came in and saw what we were doing.....because the blade wasn't rotating perfectly and not really safe, so he decided to push the mixer blade inner.....none of us knew that the mixer blade will bend 45degree, hit the beaker that he put next to it and the beaker was broken....the glass pieces were flying everywhere and it cut my arm....and i was the only one who got cut.....haha!! so then, blood flowing like crazy and the lecturer had to help me to stop the bleed....so chun right....lecturer help me to clean wound lerr....so proud!! anyway, my lecturer was quite distraught and keep saying sorry.....well, it was not his fault....none of us want it to happen....it's juz God blessing that we were all standing and not squatting looking at the same level as the thing...if not....we will get full blow on our face....thank God....well, i think that's all for now...ciaoz...

Back to the ground...

2008-08-17T07:24:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a long time since i touch ground since yesterday...so yeah, went for training camp again in Damai Cave, behind Batu Caves....can't believe that after yesterday morning's shower, i haven't take any bathing session till juz now at bout 4pm....i know i stink, but everyone was as smelly as me...so it doesn't matter anyway..haha!! as usual, saturday morning had bit of theory class, lunch and we started our "walk" (abseil) down about 20 feet from the ground.....had dinner at one of the mamak stall outside.....and by the time now yesterday, i was actually trekking in the dark through the forest into a cave and did some caving and spelunking......when we came down, it was already 1 sth in the morning.....we had to trekked down, get our stuff and went back into the cave (the lower one) because we were to camp in the cave....well, we all get conned...we went to the same place last year and we slept in the dewan....so, this time, all of us brought our air mattress, pillow and the funniest part is....Uncle Ling actually brought his portable aircond assuming we were to sleep in the dewan like last year.....but then, suddenly the instructors told us that the dewan is being used and we had to sleep in the cave....OH MY GOSH!!! it was really an experience....there no toilet in the cave, no water, freaking dark and we had to sleep on the rocks the whole night....why? because in the cave, u can hardly find one spot without rocks.....so yeah, had back massage the whole night....and i woke up at least 5 times that night to adjust to get a more comfortable position....haha!! and since there's no toilet in the cave, we have to do our business in the cave as well...imagine we were to sleep there and shit there....somehow that night, someone pee quite near the place i sleep...it was smelly....but i get use to it after a while....throughout the camp in the cave, i tried to no had the urge to pee or worst still, big business...kalau tidak, i can't imagine what will i be doing already.....and also, because it was a tiring day, people are snorring everywhere in the cave....like music....loud, clear and echo everywhere because one stop, the other start....they are like sound wave travelling in phase but slower by 30 degree.....haha!!! thank God i am to sleepy to ever think of it....woke up at 8 in the morning, had breakfast....fuiyoh, first time in my life i ever eat maggie cup in a cave full of bat shit and wat not...human shit....haha!!! after breakfast, trekked up higher and did spelunking into the smallest cave hole u can ever imagine....i had to squeeze myself through that hole....plus my height....i was practically lying flat on the wall in front of me without knowing anything....so, that's where i get my cuts....quite proud though...after that, went trekked to the highest peak, which is about 80m from ground and abseilled down.....this time round, it wasn't raining, so the trekking part was not that bad, not so much of nyamuk (for ur info, the nyamuk there when they sting u....u dun feel itchy but pain) and we do not freeze out head off when we were waiting for our turn to abseil down.....well i get the honour to "walk" down first.....quite proud again....haha!! i almost drop down 80m because i was tangled up with the other rope hanging and luckily i manage to free myself....thank God...it was fun though....run into trees and lubangs along the way down....this time, i was smarter...or should say....had experience before and gain more confidence......so, i get less cuts, wounds and scars partly thanks to the nyamuk and not knocking my knees into the wall of stones like last year because i was quite nervous and so, my mum won't nag at me this time.....

The last part..............
Well, since i was the first to come down...i get the privillage to bathe first......so, happily walking into the toilet....wash my hair, and suddenly, no water coming...GOSH!!! my hair was full with shampoo and body full with soap and there's no water.....in the end, i have no choice but to do dry cleaning a.k.a WIPE EVERYTHING DRY....haha!!! crazy....luckily, got bit of water enough to rinse clean my hair....such an experience....

Finally at home..........
Had dinner and went straight back home to watch Chong Wei's 1 million ringgit match....unfortunately, Lin Dan was too good for him....so, yeah...there goes malaysia's dreams to have the first olympic gold medal....but anyway, Chong Wei did his best and made into the finals....WELL DONE!!! we are all proud of u....

Time to sleep now....freaking tired...my legs are gonna give up soon.....ciaoz ppl....

These days....

2008-08-13T04:59:00.000-07:00

你最近不說話怎么了為什么
是不是有什么事讓你不快樂
听說你最近很孤單有點亂有點慌
可是我卻不能夠在你的身旁

你想要的我卻不能夠給你我全部
我能給的卻又不是你想要擁有的
我們不适合也不想認輸
好几次我們抱著彼此都是想要哭
常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我覺得是所有的一切早已就結束
不想再約束不要再痛苦
下一次會有更好的情路

你最近不說話怎么了為什么
是不是有什么事讓你不快樂
听說你最近很孤單有點亂有點慌
可是我卻不能夠在你的身旁

你想要的我卻不能夠給你我全部
我能給的卻又不是你想要擁有的
我們不适合也不想認輸
好几次我們抱著彼此都是想要哭
常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我覺得是所有的一切早就已結束
不想再約束不要再痛苦
下一次會有更好的情路

愛我卻不能夠給你我全部
我能給的卻又不是你想要擁有的
你想要的我卻不能夠給你我全部
我能給的卻又不是你想要擁有的
我們不适合也不想認輸\
好几次我們抱著彼此都是想要哭
常解釋這樣的一切都只是開始
我覺得是所有的一切早已就結束
不想再約束不要再痛苦
下一次會有更好的情路
這一次我們都能很幸福

Going out..

2008-06-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

fuiyoh..these few days...i have been going out a lot...let's see....saturday, as usual...went back to school for general meeting....taught first aid a bit...had stimulation....it was really funny though...had a good laugh....then, went for advance first aid practical test....Oh My Gosh!! i had a good lecture from the instructor about nipple line and saggy balls....argh!! that's not enough...had talk with my dear senior in the car about the same thing....seem like my whole day talking bout it only....then sunday....went breakfast with meng fei....talk a lot.....then go watch kung fu panda....it was not so bad....then go eat dinner...half way eating, suddenly got emergency...then rush to aid.....then now i am back home blogging...so tired....i can't face the fact that i still have to go back to work......argh!!! thought can quit this month...now have to drag myself back to work....i am soooooooooooooooo lazy.......haih....

Dream

2008-06-27T02:25:00.000-07:00

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memoryI've lost all sense of timeand
Tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will Oh baby
You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you

Exhausted

2008-06-27T02:08:00.000-07:00

As usual, working life is exhausted....however, there are things that manage to attract me away from those tiredness...first, i enjoy going back to school and teach the juniors marching...and they won for sports day!! that's a miracle cuz we have not win since 2005 (my year) and i feel bad about that....seriously, it was a miracle...juz like spain won the semi-finals over italy....well, miracles do happen and it happen twice in a day...haha!!! well, really proud of them...worth all the scoldings from fue xiang and getting really tanned marching under hot sun everyday.....second, i enjoy coming back home...complaining to my parents how's my day went in my working place...the customers, my boss....haha!!! my parents also laugh seeing me complaining....third, go out yam cha with my friends like brenda, sook kuan....oh ya...sook kuan came back...so happy!! well, glad to see her fine and alive....when i see her pictures in Cuba, i was imagining me living in that place...i can really die...or take the next flight home...caught up with her....chat...although not long, but still......nvmn...still got plenty of time...the next i am waiting for is su wei....can't wait for her to come back....i think that's all.....

This is the first time i am waiting to go back to college....holding pen all the day trying to figure out how to solve all the problems.....studying in the library....argh!!! i am bored of working....i bet brenda feels that same to....well, going back to college this time, there are few ppl who won't be sitting in the same class anymore....philip, zaven, david and a few of my classmates...cuz they left to overseas d.....so sad....but anyway, got new clasmates coming...so.....yeah...hope can go along with them.....

I am so tired now...my bed is tempting me....ciaoz ppl....

working life....

2008-06-07T17:54:00.000-07:00

hmm, it's been a long time since i wrote the last post....why? cuz i have been working all day long....from 9am to 10pm....freaking tired.....stand whole day....my joints so gonna detached already....anyhow, i have been learning lots of stuff....all the medicine....supplements....and seen much people and situation....there's one time....a guy came to me and asked..."do u have any medication to prevent premature ejaculation?" i was like...wat on earth is that? i thought he wants something that can increase his pleasurity...but then....he said no and go on explaining again (he thought i am a guy)...the more he explain....the more i go blurr and finally..i went to consult the pharmasist although he didn't want me to....she look at me and said " no ".....haha!! after he went off..i asked the pharmasist wat on earth is that....she told me " i thought u met with some pervert ".....well, that very day....i learn another chapter of common knowledge......wat is premature ejaculation and wat to take and how to deal with it....and there were times where i have to serve some horrible customer and i really almost fight with them...." wah!! this medicine(ketosteril...for liver) made from china...should be mroe cheaper right? why still cost rm250? " and i was trying to explain to him why it cost so much...although china have cheap labour but this is medicine we are talking about....the cost to produce....the raw material...how many processes have to go through to produce....the pay for experts to control the whole plant..he juz dunno how to think....wan die d...still wan to care how much the medicine cost...and he even scold me say i din study economics....argh!!! stupid...well, this is juz one of the customer....there are more...overall, i learn lots....seriously....how to serve customer.....deal with troublesome ppl...eat late lunch and dinner....work with other ppl....it's juz fun...but suffering too....my new life style....wake up - bathe - breakfast - work - come home - bathe - sleep.......no other than that....sometimes...i really miss my friends....no time to go yam cha also....haih....sorry dudes.....one day we go k....and will be waiting for sook kuan and su wei to come back....hope to see them soon....ok lar, that's all for now....will post soon...ciaoz ppl....

Cry....

2008-04-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended so soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
The moment that I saw you cry

It was late in September
And I've seen you before
You were always the cold one
But I was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, all right....

I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon...
In places no one would find...

In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

.....

2008-04-24T20:33:00.000-07:00

I try but I cant seem to get myself
To think of anything
But you
Your breath on my face
Your warm gentle kiss I taste the truth
I taste the truth
We know what I came here for
So I won't ask for more

I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one whose in your arms
Who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
I wanna be with you

So I'll hold you tonite
Like I would if you were mine
to hold forever more
And I`ll savor each touch that I wanted
So much to feel before
How beautiful it is
Just to be like this

I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one whose in your arms
Who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
I wanna be with you

Oh baby
I can`t fight this feeling anymore
It drives me crazy when I try to
So call my name
Take my hand
Make my wish
Baby, your command?
Yeahhh

I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
I wanna be with you
I wanna be with you
Wanna be with you

back.....

2008-04-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

fuiyoh...it's been like years since i last blog...well, it's been a tiring but fun week....work everyday from 9am to 10pm....it's like 13 hours k....freaking tired...whole day standing...serving customer....by the time i reach home....my leg so gonna break....and all my nerves somehow like all disconnected....so, after having a nice hot shower....straightaway, my bed is seducing me....so, yeah lorr...into the dreamland i come...haha!!! until my mum also complaining....never eat single meal with my family since started working....while working, i learn a lot....have to memorize where are the stuff placed....when my lady boss say the name only....the product must be in her hand....haha!! seriously, now training to be efficient...like robot...another thing is...i learn a lot bout those supplements that are available in the market....fish oil, cod liver oil, evening primerose oil, flaxseed oil, collagen and many more...haven't finish learning...each different type is for different purpose....cod liver oil is for immune, collagen is for ladies for firming up, fish oil can reduce inflammation, prevent from coronary heart disease and high blood pressure....seriously, there are so many supplements in the market....each brand got more than 30 products...and there are like more than 3 different brands.....kordel's, bio-life, live-well...bla bla bla....besides, i also learn bout different kinds of medicine....for flu, sore throat, high blood pressure, high cholestrol, heart.......b4 start working, i thought for fever and flu....juz take panadol....sore throat...juz take strepsiles....now, walau...got progestric, anti histamine, tempol, renitec....however, the not good thing of working is....we dun have a specific time to eat...sometimes, we eat lunch at 4.30pm where people suppose to be having tea...and dinner at 8.30pm or almost 9....even half way eating, when got customer....have to serve first...food also dun need to eat d....so, have bread for lunch will be a fastest way to fill up my stomach....in a way, it's good lar.....can kuruskan badan in the same time getting paid....haha!!! seriously, it's a good experience...can learn so many things....but then again, really have to pay the price lorr..i have miss a lot of things since started working...like watching tv, football....read news....play piano....listen to music...eat meals together with my family (good food).....and most of all, miss blogging and online chat!! well, got to go get ready for work...if not, kena scolding....ciaoz ppl....

Lame sam....

2008-04-15T08:56:00.000-07:00

So, looking at the title of this post...u guys can concluded that wat i did today was really lame..let's see....after hanging all the clothes...i went off to 1U alone....to check something for my mum who is currently at overseas....then, i went to MPH and bought a book...well, romance is my all time favourite....because the time is almost 1 and since i have to pick my sister from school at 2.30..i decided to wait till 2.30 and go lunch with her (cuz her school is near 1U)...so, i sat at the sofa and read for a while...mouth felt itchy and bought aunty annie's....while eating, i was standing at the CD shop staring at the tv who was playing celine dion's concert in Caeser Palace....HER PEFORMANCE WAS AWESOME!!! with her team of 90 people....dancers...guitarists...back up singer...only dancers, i think got close to 70 ppl d....i really wanted to go for her concert that day but then...the ticket was so expensive.....so, all i can do is watch from the DVDs....she really can sing lorr...her pitch super high....can never reach that pitch...really like her songs....i stood there for almost 20 minutes with an aunty felt so amaze by her singing.......maybe she's a fan of celine dion too....haha!! at least i dun look that stupid...got ppl teman me....then at 2 o'clock, i went to my sister's school....waited for half and hour....petrol also dunno burn how many litres d...finally she came out and we went for lunch....then, went for lunch with clayton, jamie and my cousin's bf....suddenly, the rain pour like cats and dogs....thunder and lightning really scared us because we were sitting outside....the rain water kept splashing in and the lightning kept striking through....felt insecure, we walk under the rain and went inside....chat a bit...and then cabut home cuz the rain stop d....thank God i am still alive man...haha!! that's all for today....ciaoz....

holiday continues...

2008-04-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

seriously...i really like holidays.....so fun...whole day watch movie...lay around....no assignments...no projects...no class test...no exams...so nice....well, went out together with my classmates..philip, zaven, jia her and brenda...went to pyramid....well, details can be found in brenda's blog....but one most important thing that i have to say is...all of us were models out of the blue...our face can be found in taylors prospecturs...so...if free..go have a look...haha!!

So, last weekend was my ex-club's annual camp...i really miss camp and school life so much..although there's much conflicts between students...those days were extremely fun...looking at those participants' face and the conditions of them after activities..it reminds me of myself when i was one of them...dirty....swearing and cursing at those stupid committee for asking us to do things and activities that are tiring...waking up in the middle of the night for security duties....nonsense stuff....making us look like a fool.....i went for lots of camps during my school days...no matter in scholl nor outside school....especially camps at outsite schools....like kem cahaya, kem kepimpinan, district level camp (all PBSM camps)....kem muafakat...bla bla bla..in those camps...we really did some stupid activities at times....like walking all the way from sultan abdul samad school to bukit gasing at 12 midnight..using our butt to walk across the basketball court midnight because we weren't able to walk(we were tied all together and got tanggled up)....do more than 100 push ups a day for sth that we din do wrong juz to train our discipline....being dragged from sleep at 3 am in the morning to make us sit and reflect on ourselves and also being dump alone in the middle of the jungle for 2 hours in the middle of the night....sleep in tents that were flooded cuz it was raining heavily...walk in mud that are almost a metre thick....crawl under the table and suddenly when u look up...flour and egg are all over ur face....do commander crawl with detergent all over the floor...walk all over school in the middle of the night blind folded going through lots of obstacle on the way....going under the bench which is only about half a metre from the ground....climbing up and down chairs and tables....haha!! there's lots more...but then again.....everything come back to the same point...to learn, to experience, to be discipline, to be responsible to urself and others that are under ur care....all these activities, although stupid they have purpose....when u finally sit down and reflect back...u actually learn sth that u can never find in books...can never buy with money...it's experience and afterall...life is all about learning.....anyway, helped out in the camp...although no much...get to "revenge" a bit...haha!! yup..that's right...bully my juniors...but then..i think i play more than i bully them....make them go under and above the table....under the bench during "infrared"....fuiyoh!! take so long to make them cross all the obstacle...need to pujuk them on by one...explain to them their next move...luckily everything went fine...no one injured...well, i think i crap a lot d....ok, ciaoz...see ya next post...

life during holidays...

2008-04-09T05:44:00.000-07:00

well, it's been the 5th day into my holidays...all i can say is...it's going fine....let's see...on the 3rd day of my holidays..which is monday the 7th, me, the engineering students (chee ming, wendy, jun king, bryan, brenda, joven, edward, betty, siow min, wei kang) and chee ming's sister, jessica went for a picnic all the way in ULU YAM....hmm, supposedly, monday last week, we were still struggling to study math but monday this week...we were happily enjoying the beautiful scenery in the Woods Resort....although that place dun have a nice waterfall, we really did enjoy ourselves....that morning, we went through a lot of wrong places (due to my fault...haha!! that GPS larr....sorry bryan)...almost went up to genting cuz miss the Ulu Yam turning...haha!! maybe BBQ in genting is not that bad after all...so then, after lots of error, we finally decided to have Woods Resort as our final destination because it look nicer compare to chee ming's actual destination.....we rented a pondok along the river, set up the fire and started the BBQ process....as usual, sure got plenty of overcook or i can say...hangus chicken wing and sausages cuz we are all not professionals...dunno who told me to soak the drinks in the river water to chill it...haha!! obviously it doesn't work....but i had a nice experience "once pull, everything come together" because i tie all the bottles together.....everything went well until the rain came....it wasn't that bad afterall....we were all like those orang asli...sitting in our nice pondok...starring at the river water and trying to deduce whether the water flow is turbulent or laminar....in the mean time...brenda like our mother...cutting watermelon for us since we have all nothing to do....the way she cut the watermelon is like she wants to kill someone....maybe it's cuz the limited place and the big knife she have....she even shave her bulu kaki...haha!! well, as usual...the guys have nth to say besides RO...dunno wat so nice bout that game....and we girls juz stare at each other eating watermelon....finally...the rain stopped....we quickly get our stuff...clean up the place and cabut because we dun wan to be stuck in the jam.....even going home...we took the wrong exit..this time...it wasn't my fault....jun king's....so nvmn...we took the longer route....but we get to see some interesting scene...while we were waiting for the traffic light...we saw 3 dogs having sex...imagine...it's 3...not 2...haha!! we stare amd took a few pictures....i think the dogs were shy after a few pictures and they stopped....finally....we reached home safely at about 4....that's the first weekday of my holidays....the days after that...was not so interesting....become maid only....well, kakak went home and we got a lousy kakak...ask her do things she scold us pulak...so my mum got pissed and sent her off....then now...while waiting for my new kakak...i have to do most of the stuff because i am the one on holiday....and now...i learn how to use the washing machine...haha!! seriously, i never touched that pretty machine before.....all my kakak or mum do wan...so now....my mum have to teach me how to use because she's not going to be around next week...i think she teach me till want to vomit blood d...... "wat ur lecturers teached..no matter how difficult u can remember but this little bit of thing (how to use the pretty machine) u cannot remember"....haha!! that's wat my mum say...well, i think trying to remember how to use the machine is far worst than memorising those formula and facts....well, i think that's all for now...tomorrow going bak kut teh with brenda and her mum....then friday...it's taman sea's PBSM camp....yeah man!! muz go back and kacau...missing camps so much!! ciaoz dudes...

opening ceremony...

2008-04-04T07:27:00.000-07:00

HI everyone...well, exams juz finish hours ago and it marks the end of my first year in university...i am really glad and happy that's it's all over...freedom has finally arrive and this is what all of my classmates and i were waiting for since weeks ago...and this is how i celebrate the first night of freedom...by blogging...and after this...i think i am so gonna hibernate....to replace all the strength and brain juice that i used up in the course of exams...that time, i can be a high class pig d...anyway, exams was really a nightmare...it was really taxing and almost kill me off...math, dynamics, electric, electronics and computing system, thermodynamics and chemical and biochemical process....all these papers were really dreadful and horrible....although it's a total nightmare....i have learn lots....throughout the whole week....God has really guide and bring me through those dreadful time..He has been blessing me all the way and gave me strength when i was about to give up....really...there were moments that i really wanted to give up but everytime the word give up creep into my mind...miraculously a feeling of comfort covered up all my doubts and fears....i really did experience God this time and i really thank God that everything went well....still, it's all over...everything's been fine and great....to all my classmates....it's been a wonderful year studying together....fighting with time to complete assignments and projects...eating lunch together...staying back and even go to college on saturdays and sundays to finish up presentation and homework....trying to make every engineering fair to be a success (our process flow control system...although not finish...we still manage to present it quite successfully) :-) ...hopefully we will have many great years studying together in future....to all my classmates that are leaving this year...david, philip, zaven, myat, jonathan and others....it's nice knowing u guys and we really had a great 8 months studying together....especially zaven, getting lost together in dynamics, electrics and electronics class...haha!! most of the time we dunno where or how the figure or formula come from...it's like out of nowhere the figures appear....and also philip, my group mate...let's see....we've been through 2 styrene presentation and one hands-on-project....i can say that those assignments and presentations were not easy but we manage to push through....although the work that we pass up have many flaws but we still land ourselves with credits.....not bad...good job!! during the process of trying to accomplish those task....we kinda the have small quarrels due to different opinion..sorry ya...din mean it....whenever u guys come back to malaysia again...remember to come visit us in taylors so we can get together again...dun forget us ya!! to all my group mates...jia her, brenda, chia yee, philip and ai wei...nice working with u guys....will always remember those time we spend in starbucks....uncle seng and mcD....we really did a great job...keep it up......aiyo, my gigi really sakit larr....these few days i am a wise person...got wisdom tooth lerr....so pain...during exams...it hurts so much...haih.....wah!! my first post really long lerr...that's all i think...time to go hibernate....5 months holidays...HERE I COME!! ciaoz....nitez...